Recruiter on phone: He's a hell of a configurer, but he just couldn't stay off crack.
Durham, North Carolina
Recruiter on phone: He's a hell of a configurer, but he just couldn't stay off crack.
Durham, North Carolina
Woman: Man, I got so shitfaced last night. Major hangover. I’m not gonna get anything done.
Lackey: Well, good thing you’re a VP. You can get away with that kind of thing.
Woman: I know, right? And I don’t even have a college education!
Lackey: Guess I wasted those four years and workday sobriety for nothing. And all this time I could have been a hungover dropout.
Woman: Live and learn!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Professor #1: I'm going to go home and collapse. I'll be back online later this afternoon.
Professor #2: How was the conference?
Professor #1: Oh, it was great. It was in Canada, so all the faculty were about smoking pot and nude beaches.
Professor #2: We have a beach! We have faculty!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: blackmail
Teacher: My birthday is tomorrow. I can't believe I'm going to be 35!
Student teacher: I'm only 23.
Teacher: When I was 23, I was going to chapel at university while smoking pot!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Really??
Office secretary: Beth* keeps me entertained.
Beth*: Yep, just give me a pill!
Pineville, Louisiana
Female coworker, about current object of infatuation: Oh…he is so cute, you have to see him. I just love him. I will bring in his mugshot.
Male coworker: He has a mugshot?
Female coworker: Yeah, but he only beats his girlfriends when he is on drugs. He is so sweet. He used to save me a seat on the bus when we were in school.
Mountville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Mindy
Editor #1: Every time I see a picture of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, I drool a little. Even though I don't really want one.
Editor #2: I'm that way with cocaine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Lady peon: My husband’s doctor told him that his liver is so bad that he has to quit drinking, so I’m going to quit with him. [Later] I can’t wait to have a couple beers tonight.
Confused coworker: I thought you said you were going to quit drinking with your husband!
Lady peon: Well, a few drinks won’t hurt him.
Columbiana, Ohio
Overheard by: ChatsMcGee
Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: I’m looking for a red wine.
Employee: Cabernet, pinot noir, shiraz?
Customer: No, I want a red wine.
1017 East Main Street
Radford, Virginia
Suit #1: I’m going to need that project done for Monday. Can you get on that right now?
Suit #2: It’s Friday, and I have beer to drink. It’s really going to have to wait.
4881 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
