Writers and Editors

Editor: We don’t have time to review the files. Have the vendors send their files directly to the printer. At this point, we’re approving crap.

8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio

Writer: What the heck is going on with you?
Designer: Why?
Writer: Because I messaged you like three times.
Designer: Oh. I didn’t see it.
Writer: Thank god I wasn’t sending you my suicide note.
Designer: You would do that through Yahoo!?
Writer: I don’t know. Maybe. Is it too informal?
Designer: Kind of. I mean like print it out or something. Then somebody could drop it in my box.
Writer: What font would I even use?

16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel

Editor #1: Did you check these names religiously?
Editor #2: Yeah, he’s praying they’re all right.

2 Holt Steet
Surry Hills, New South Wales
Australia

Marketer: There’s nothing sexy about turkey.
Writer: No.
Marketer: What about, “Need a way to keep from stuffing yourself? Go have an orgasm!”

8885 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Manager: How dare you besmirch my good name and then saunter into my office as though nothing was said? Out, out infidel!
Writer: Oh…that’s just how I roll.

650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida

Copywriter: I was accosted by a woman with a French accent at the mall at lunch today.
Art Director: Really? How odd.
Copywriter: Yeah, she buffed my nails and I purchased her product. Only now am I remembering the accent as being fake.
Art Director: I had a run in with the cops over lunch.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Writer, presenting: I tried to get out of the way and let the thing be the thing, here.

Renton, Washington

Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.

Austin, Texas

Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.

1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California

Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona