Writers and Editors

Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.

Austin, Texas

Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.

1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California

Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three‐piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild‐eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Proofreader #1: Is this a word?
Proofreader #2: No.
Proofreader #1: Then what is it?

140 East 45th Street
New York, New York

Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.

1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California

Editor #1: Every time I see a picture of a Krispy Kreme doughnut, I drool a little. Even though I don’t really want one.
Editor #2: I’m that way with cocaine.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Editor: I don’t think the parallel between origami and dead chicken is made well enough.

Austin, Texas

Director to editor, about shot in short film: If I had done all the moves right, I would have just come on her back.

Wilmywood, North Carolina

Overheard by: Actor

Magazine Editor: Can you help me? I think the stapler’s broken…See it’s broken because it doesn’t have any staples. 

350 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Copy editor, muttering to herself: Party foul, for dubious misuse of the verb “finger.” (pause) Contractions are your friends! Will everyone stop being so damn British?!


Overheard by: musingvenus