Analyst #1: I hate going into that lunchroom when the people from claims are in there having a potluck.
Analyst #2: I know, it’s like the bar scene in Star Wars.
4645 East Cotton Center Bouelvard
Phoenix, Arizona
Analyst #1: I hate going into that lunchroom when the people from claims are in there having a potluck.
Analyst #2: I know, it’s like the bar scene in Star Wars.
4645 East Cotton Center Bouelvard
Phoenix, Arizona
The boss is at his desk playing a video game when a co-worker approaches.
Co-worker: Do you mind if I step outside for a moment to make a personal call?
Boss: Can’t it wait? We’re not paying you to do nothing.
510 South 52nd Street
Tempe, Arizona
Student worker: So, Joe* only got through four buckets today, so can I just do four buckets and go home?
Supervisor: No, you can’t, because Joe washed all the buckets that were over there and built that huge pyramid with them.
Student worker: Awww, man! How can I compete with him when he builds pyramids?
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
IT chick: Okay, okay, slow down… Your mouse isn’t working? [Pause] Ma’am… Ma’am, pick it up off the floor.
Internet domain registrar company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Boss: We are a team. If you tell me that you cannot work on your day off, then you are not being a very good team member.
1119 N. Brown
Casa Grande, Arizona
Overheard by: Alisa
Boss: No, trust me. The last thing you want to do is bring your spouse on a company Las Vegas trip. You’ll be divorced by the time you get home.
Salesman: Oh, really?
Boss: You know, because of all the drugs… and hookers.
Salesman: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
9633 South 48th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Co-worker #1: What’s the matter?
Co-worker #2: I’m cold.
Co-worker #1: How can you be cold? It’s Friday.
Co-worker #2: …What?
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
Cube rat: Hell, we were finding underwear on top of the refrigerator for two weeks.
400 N 5th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: AndyDan
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”
Arizona
Overheard by: Shocked in AZ
