Writer: I told you that duck was evil.
Designer: I know.
Writer: But you kept trying to squeeze him in the layout anyway.
Designer: I know. He looked so tempting when I first saw him! But that duck was the spawn of Satan.
Writer: I told you he was a freak.
Designer: He lured me in!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I don’t really want to know.
Coed #1: He had told me not to do anything special for his birthday. He said to forget he was having a birthday at all. But then he came over, and I could tell that he was down.
Coed #2: Because it was his birthday, and he was thirty.
Coed #1: Yeah.
Coed #2: And he’s dating an eighteen-year-old.
Coed #1: Shut up. So then we had sex? And it wasn’t, like, the most amazing time, but I faked it. But, like, really over the top? And he was happy the rest of the day!
University & College Avenues
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: over 30
Co-Worker #1: Do you have to dust your desk all the time with your window shade open?
Co-Worker #2: No, why?
Co-Worker #1: Because of all the sun.
Co-Worker #2: Huh?
Co-Worker #1: Dust comes from sunlight.
4725 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Co-Worker: He was Canadian until he took the test.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Hanna
Employee #1: I was on time every day this week.
Employee #2: What? No way. You? Please, you’re always late.
Employee #1: No, seriously.
Employee #2: Dude, weren’t you late today? You’re always late on Fridays.
Employee #1: I got here at 8:35 but normally I show up at 9am, so I wasn’t late today.
Employee #2: 8:35 is late. Everyone else shows up at 8.
Employee #1: I have to take my daughter to school so that’s why I’m typically late…but um…her school’s out now for the summer so…yeah, I just forgot to set my alarm.
3320 West Cheryl Drive
Phoenix, Arizona
Employee #1: I don’t believe in God. I believe in ghosts, but not God.
Employee #2: What about aliens?
Employee #1: Oh, totally!
Boss: Don’t you guys have something more important to be doing?
Employee #2: I have about 1,000 other things to do. None of them is more important than this.
2223 East Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
Designer: All right. V & S Courier will pick up those CDs this afternoon.
Writer: “V & S”? What is that, Venereal and Syphillis?
Designer: I think so. And like venereal and syphillis, they are always traveling back and forth. From customer to customer.
16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Worker: If you see [Jen] or [Jake], can you tell them I need to talk to them?
Boss: What for?
Worker: I just need to ask them about this thing for Thursday.
Boss: Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to ask [Jen] or [Jen] about it.
120 West First Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Cube #1: It’s so cloudy out today; is there an Armageddon scheduled that I didn’t know about?
Cube #2: I think it’s supposed to rain.
Cube #1: Well, since you’re closest to the window it’s your responsibility to inform the rest of us if the rain contains a plague of locusts. Tough break, but that’s the responsibility that comes with good cubicle location.
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
Drone #1: Do you need the reports immediately?
Drone #2: Yeah, but not right now.
2929 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
