Possible Sexual Harassment

CSR: So then he goes, “This is Motorola, right? Because with that voice of yours, for a second there, I thought I called the wrong number” oh, but it didn’t stop there…he keeps on with “you know, like, a 900 number, right?” I mean, eww…I did not need to know that.

1301 East Algonquin
Schaumburg, Illinois

Male supervisor: Give Janet* one of those chocolate pretzel things. Because she’s going on vacation and doesn’t have to fit into a bathing suit this weekend.
Janet*, aside: I swear, random people have been coming up to me all day asking about my supposed nude beach trip to Jamaica.
Male supervisor: Let it all hang out, baby.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Executive #1: We will never promote her. She is fucked up. Did you see her at the company picnic with her son?
Executive #2: No. What happened?
Executive #1: She was breastfeeding him!
Executive #2: So what?
Executive #1: He’s like 5 years old!
Pause
Executive #2: When is the next picnic?

1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey

Woman on speaker system: I have a guy by the balls in the toy department that could use some assistance.

23561 Highway 59
Porter, Texas

Partner: I’m gonna call her and see if I can feel her up.

1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC

Director of Sales Support: If our salesmen were women they’d all be pregnant, because none of them know how to say no.

9898 West Bluemound Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Co-worker #1: What’s a carpet muncher? Is that a new slang for vacuum cleaner?
Co-worker #2: Um, no. He, he, he. I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you ask the boss for a carpet muncher.
Co-worker #1: Why? I don’t have carpeting.

800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

Intern: You’re just going to have to hold it while I push down on it. You hold still and I’ll push. Ugh. It’s too big. It just won’t fit.

1450 Broadway
New York, NY

Urinal #1: I am going home for the day. Take care, you have a good one.
Urinal #2: Thanks; I didn’t even know you were looking.

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Secretary: Hey [Manny], I see you! I see you! I have implants,so I can see everything.

University of Richmond Special Programs Building
Richmond, Virginia