IT help desk: Mine are nothing like yours. Yours get so fluffy when I put them in my mouth.
500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
IT help desk: Mine are nothing like yours. Yours get so fluffy when I put them in my mouth.
500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Lieutenant: I can’t wait to get my hands on your package and give it a good scrubbing.
Oak Harbor, Washington
Receptionist on phone: Look under my dress. There should be paper and a pen.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Liz
Maintenance man #1: Oooh, my date last night had some fine titties.
Maintenance man #2: Yes siree, when we hooked up I loved me some of them.
Maintenance man #3: I’ve seen better than hers. [Gesturing to passerby] Look at those. But I guess I’d have to see them naked to really compare.
Office building, House of Representatives
Washington, DC
Manager to self, while cleaning store’s sign: Scrubbing the N, I’m scrubbing the N… Cleaning a T, I clean the T, that’s right… Scrubbing the A, I’m scrubbing the A… [Reaches through the center hole of the A.] Scrubbing the A-hole, cleaning out the A-hole… Wait…
Valley View Mall
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused newbie
Cube rat on phone: Yeah, last year I did about 75 kids, and I’m hoping to do more this year.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Cute intern reading UPS package label: Hey, Gerald*, you got a big package!
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: fatty
Little boy to mom: You know what I like to suck?
Clothing store, Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ohgodmustn’tsayanything
Coworker #1: Snogging is heavily kissing… Not getting to third base.
Coworker #2: Oh. I thought snogging was a kind of drink.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Annabelle
Peon: Uh, Jim*, do you have anywhere I can put a floppy dick? … Uh… Disk?
Jim: Niiice.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: defragment my hard-drive
