West Virginia

Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.

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West Virginia

Overheard by: oh dear

Professor #1: What's going on out there?
Professor #2: It's either a gang fight or a game of Red Rover.

West Virginia

Overheard by: Professor 3

Male entering bathroom and noticing someone at urinal: I'm always running into the back of you in here.

Morgantown, West Virginia

Co-worker: If he was any more by the book, he’d have a cover on him.

3160 Charlestown Road
Martinsburg, West Virginia

Office girl #1: Did you hear that Kendra's man isn't on the Eagles anymore?
Office girl #2: They fired him?
Office girl #1: Hold on, let me check. (pause) Oh, nope. He's going to play for the Colts now.
Office girl #2: Where's that?
Office girl #1: I'm not sure.
Office girl #2: It sounds like it's somewhere cold.
Office girl #1: I have no clue.
Office girl #2: I'll google it. (pause) Indianapolis.
Office girl #1: Where's that?
Office girl #2: I don't know. I think that's north of here.
Office girl #1: Oh…
Office girl #2: Oh, it's in Indiana.

Morgantown, West Virginia

Overheard by: humble office drone

Office manger: I've got a blue hand, I've been playing in the salt.
Coworker #1: I've got a black hand, I was playing in dirt.
Coworker #2: I've got a brown hand…

Beckley, West Virginia

Overheard by: da cook

Chief petty officer: So, you’re saying the reservists can shoot themselves?
Training officer: Yes, but only with supervision.

Barboursville, West Virginia

[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.

Beckley, West Virginia

Secretary on phone: I hate fake tans too…not cans…tans. No, tans. T as in taco, A as in anus, N as in next, and S as in swords. I hate fake cans, too.

3818 Maccorkle Avenue SE
Charleston, West Virginia

Overheard by: brittany

Older employee to younger employees: That's why I don't live in town. I would be in jail. They would say, “you can't have a beer out here” and “you can't be in the nude” no matter how hot it is in your tomato patch!

Roanoke, West Virginia