Trim middle-aged President: I just received my soccer badge in the mail.
Young receptionist: I can’t see you playing soccer.
President: I don’t play, I referee.
Receptionist: Still, I can’t see your fat ass waddling up and down the field.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: now I’m going to have to answer the phones again
Assistant #1: Did you get out for lunch today?
Assistant #2: I did! It was so nice out I didn’t want to come back.
Assistant #1: I think we should all get medals for making it back to work after lunch
Assistant #3: Or a straightjacket.
345 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Receptionist: Hey, did Kevin leave?
Co-worker: No, he’s gone for the day.
16443 Minnesota Avenue
Paramount, California
Overheard by: Stella Bella
Receptionist: He’s charged with digital rape, but I don’t see how you can rape someone over the internet.
501 Latrobe Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Assistant: Well, do you still have that copy of the Specific Plan?
Project Manager: I don’t know where it is.
Assistant: Wasn’t it on your desk yesterday?
Project Manager: Yeah, but I think it’s spread its legs.
Assistant: What?
Project Manager: You know, spread its legs. You know what I mean.
Assistant: Sprouted legs?
1580 Metro Drive
Costa Mesa, California
Admin: Some angry guys are going to come in the office looking for one of the executives. They may threaten you and yell at you but just tell them to go away. Whatever you do, don’t bother us with it.
Receptionist: Okay, while I’m up here fighting for my life, I’ll be sure not to bother you all.
817 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Elle George
Secretary: [Helen]’s not here. She must be someplace else.
12555 Euclid Street
Garden Grove, California
Secretary: I can write memos like it’s my job.
Boss: That is your job.
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
Designer: Hey, you left your turn signal on. Better turn it off or you’ll run out of blinker fluid.
Secretary: Oh, okay. I don’t even know how to check that. I’ll have the guy at the dealership fill it next time.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Receptionist: And how are we feeling this morning?
Patient: Yeah, yeah! Here’s my co-payment.
15 West 39th Street
New York, NY
