Receptionists

Older partner to receptionist: See you later, we're going to meet this banker.
Middle-aged partner, to older partner as they walk out the door: What? Oh, “banker.” I thought you said “the spanker.”

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Jen

Crazed, frazzled receptionist, yelling: A little Vicodin goes a long way!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: EMCEE

Receptionist: You know He-Man and how when he lifts his sword he gets a sudden jolt of steroids?
Stylist: Yeah.
Receptionist: Well, wouldn’t it be awesome if I could lift the broom and become a broom god?!
Stylist: Um, no.

Barber shop
Noblesville, Indiana

Helper: You’re wonderful — like a pie face.
Receptionist: Like a pie face? Wonderful people are like pie faces?
Helper: Um, obviously you don’t understand I have my own language.
Receptionist: … Well, then what’s a pizza foot?
Helper: Look, you can’t just be making things up!

4601 Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Nator

Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?

9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: T

Purchasing manager: Can I borrow a pencil?
Receptionist: No. If you don’t come prepared, I ain’t helping you.

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven’t shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I’m hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?
Cute female receptionist: What's wrong with my shoes?
Boss: They're covered in scuff marks.
Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they're not scuff marks, it's pigeon crap.

Madison Ave
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Dasma

Receptionist: Would you like to keep the box it came in?
Admin: Hmm… No, it's okay, thanks.
(later)
Receptionist: That box was really cool because it just folds down. You don't have to cut any tape off because it doesn't need tape.
Admin: Damn! Missed out on a good one.
Receptionist: It's still here!
Admin: I think I have too many. But how often do you come across a really great box?
Receptionist: What have our lives come to?

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: cardboard cut