Professor: A “letter of intent”? Whaddya mean, “intent”? I intend on getting myself a sweet little girlfriend like [Nick] has; is that what you mean by “intent”? Get a Korean girlfriend on the side?
San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea
Vice Principal: Hey there, did you get my email?
Teacher: No, I didn’t…
Vice Principal: Wow, and I sent it to both [Ed Hildick]s so you’d be sure to get it.
Teacher: Yeah…but my name is [Jeff].
901 Locust Street
Herndon, Virginia
Perky new faculty member: Hi! I'm Marie*! It's nice to meet you.
(everyone exchanges handshakes and sits down)
Confused accountant: I'm sorry, do you work here?
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: justwords77
Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.
444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York
Disgruntled teacher: Well, we need advance notice when the file server's going to be down, especially when we work on final exams and stuff.
Principal: Duly noted.
Tall teacher: And ignored.
Hancock, New York
Teacher on phone with parent: Mrs. Jones*, I’m not saying Billy* cheated. All I’m saying is he had a sheet of paper with the answers to the test on the floor under his desk, and every few minutes he leaned over and looked at it. And I don’t allow that kind of studying.
Bayport, New York
Professor #1: You know what I hate? There’s never any TP in the men’s room. You have to bring your own.
Professor #2: Yeah, I know. Unless you buy it at the vending machine.
Professor #1 unspools some paper from a roll on the coffee table.
Professor #1: I just hate using this roll. It’s like telegraphing the whole world you’ve gotta take a dump.
San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea
Overheard by: KGB
Professor #1: I'm going to go home and collapse. I'll be back online later this afternoon.
Professor #2: How was the conference?
Professor #1: Oh, it was great. It was in Canada, so all the faculty were about smoking pot and nude beaches.
Professor #2: We have a beach! We have faculty!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: blackmail
Teacher: My birthday is tomorrow. I can't believe I'm going to be 35!
Student teacher: I'm only 23.
Teacher: When I was 23, I was going to chapel at university while smoking pot!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Really??
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego
