First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
Teacher #1: So, I went to my gynecologist yesterday, and he told me I had an exceptionally nice vagina.
Teacher #2: Oh, that was nice of him.
214 Race Street
Middletown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: poor student who wanted to ask a question
Teacher: I was sitting there thinking, ‘If I only had a brain!’ And then I thought, ‘Duh! The Wal-Mart’s open!’
Brookdale, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Chris
Over-zealous professor talking about tribal genital mutilation: … So the viewers experienced more stress when they watched the people getting their genitals whacked off! They got whacked off!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Physics teacher: How thick do you think a steel pole would have to be that connected the Earth and the moon if there were no more gravity?
Student #1: 10 inches?
Student #2: Five miles?
Student #3: No, way bigger than that.
Physics teacher: It would be about the size of the state of New York.
Student #1: Damn.
Student #2: Ha! I was right!
Student #3: You think that New York is five miles across?!
Student #2: Okay, that’s more like Delaware-sized. Is Delaware even a state?
Staples High School
Westport, Connecticut
Poli-Sci professor: John Locke said, ‘In the beginning, all the world was America.’ What did he mean by this?
Student: Continental drift?
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Principal over loudspeaker: We’re looking for someone to give us wood.
4 Robert Holcomb Way
Plainville, Connecticut
Overheard by: for a good cause
Ditzy babe: Mr. Allen*? In the reading last night it said that semen had a high sugar content. Is that right?
Mr. Allen: That’s right.
Ditzy babe: So, does that mean it’s bad for your teeth?
AP Biology class
Rochester, New York
Third grader: Teacher, Tameka* is being nasty.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Third grader: I asked Eric* to use his dictionary, and she started laughing.
Teacher: Which means…?
Third grader: She was thinking something nasty.
Teacher: You mean, you can read her mind?
Third grader: I don’t know how to explain…
Teacher: Did she say anything out loud?
Third grader: No, but she was thinking nasty stuff.
2351 East Redwood Road
Ceres, California
Overheard by: an observing teacher
