The Classroom

Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!

Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh M.

Student: What is this bit?
Professor: Which bit?
Student: The kinda-purplish, squishy bit.
Professor, to assistant: Do you know what that is?
Assistant: No.
Professor, to student: That’s not important. You can ignore that.

USC Anatomy lab
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kylie

Third grader: Hey, for our project do we gotta write about a black person?
Teacher: No, you don’t have to write about a black person.
Third grader: My mom wants me to write about George Clinton.
Teacher: Do you mean Bill Clinton?
Third grader: Nah, I meant Thomas Jefferson.
Teacher: Oh, he’s okay.

7th Street & Sansom Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Teacher Noga

Student #1: Do you have a learning disability or something?
Student #2: Yeah. I’m ADD.
Student #1: Oh.
Student #2: Just kidding! I’m just stupid.

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada

Overheard by: Going to class

Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher

Kindergarten boy: Mrs. Jones*, I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: No, you just went.
Kindergarten boy: Please, Mrs. Jones*. I gotta go.
Teacher: No, you were told you had to wait.
Kindergarten boy: But I have to go now! My marbles are itchy!


Student: Mrs. Smith*, do you have any kids?
Mrs. Smith: No, I don’t have children.
Student: Did somebody steal them?

1212 Cheyenne Boulevard
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Sheri

Teacher: Hugh*, why are you out in the hallway? You should be in the classroom.
Student: Well, I had skidmarks in my underpants so, you know, I was putting them away…

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: another teacher

Teacher: Okay, so now that you know the basic rules of the computer lab, I have to ask you one more question… Do any of you ever check out the NMBLA website? [Silence.] Well I do, frequently. I want to know who the enemy is. Also, I like to look at the new Russian brides on Fridays.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cupcake1

Girl, about overhead projection image: Any way you can make that bigger?
Whole class: That's what she said!


Overheard by: like, for real?