Iowa

12PM Lunch

Credit manager: Anyone need some glasses?
Coworker: What kind of glasses?
Credit manager: Drinking glasses, water glasses. I have four and I’m not going to use them.
Coworker: Where’d ya get the glasses from?
Credit manager: I stole them from the hotel I was at last week
Coworker: You can’t go around stealing stuff from hotels.
Credit manager: That’s what my wife tells me, which is why I need to get rid of them before she finds out. Maybe I’ll just put them in the break room.

142 Grand Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

1PM Getting Buy-in

Supervisor: I need to know the circulation of this piece.
Underling: I put it on the job request.
Supervisor: No, not how many people it’s going to…
Underlings: Uh….
Supervisor: Oh, yeah, it’s on there. Never mind.

401 Southwest 7th
Des Moines, Iowa

2PM Update Database

Temp: This person gave their email address as being at “hotmail.con”. Should I enter it as “hotmail.com”?
Employee: No, put whatever is on the application.

1776 West Lakes Parkway
West Des Moines, Iowa

5PM That’s a Wrap

Clinical Services Manager: I hate it when my email is full of porn!
Clinical Services Assistant: Well, at least it’s not kiddie porn.
Clinical Services Manager: Wait, they make porn with cats in it now?

999 Home Plaza
Waterloo, Iowa

Overheard by: RicaChica

1PM Lunch

Manager: You know, breast augmentation is becoming a much more popular as a graduation gift.

715 Locust Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know

Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.

Des Moines, Iowa

You Mean Shrimp Chow Mane?

Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!

Des Moines, Iowa

I’m Inquiring about Volume, Ass

Customer: How big is the one-pound burrito?
Employee: Um, that’d be one pound, ma’am.

Forrest Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

You Guys from Nantucket Are So Sensitive

Cube rat #1: Dude, I’m going to send you a poem.
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Don’t get offended, okay?
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Dude, promise me you won’t get offended.

4949 Westown Parkway
Des Moines, Iowa

And Don't Even Get Me Started on Yo Mama

Boss, sitting at peon's desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You're not ergonomically correct.

Des Moines, Iowa

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