Iowa

Clinical Services Manager: I hate it when my email is full of porn!
Clinical Services Assistant: Well, at least it’s not kiddie porn.
Clinical Services Manager: Wait, they make porn with cats in it now?

999 Home Plaza
Waterloo, Iowa

Overheard by: RicaChica

Manager: You know, breast augmentation is becoming a much more popular as a graduation gift.

715 Locust Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.

Des Moines, Iowa

Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!

Des Moines, Iowa

Customer: How big is the one-pound burrito?
Employee: Um, that’d be one pound, ma’am.

Forrest Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

Cube rat #1: Dude, I’m going to send you a poem.
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Don’t get offended, okay?
Cube rat #2: Okay.
Cube rat #1: Dude, promise me you won’t get offended.

4949 Westown Parkway
Des Moines, Iowa

Boss, sitting at peon's desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You're not ergonomically correct.

Des Moines, Iowa

Coworker #1: You know what we should do? Pool our money together and buy a cat.
Coworker #2: Would anybody feed it? ‘Cause I don’t want no dead cat runnin’ around here.

Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Gir

Without Conspiracy Theories, TV Would Be Iowa's Only Entertainment

Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don't do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It's the second most poisonous element. It's used in all kinds of rat poisons.

Marion, Iowa

Coworker to another who’s holding McDonald’s: God, I love the taste of sausage when I’m hung over.

1500 NW 118th Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Trevor