Coworker #1: Hey, listen to this: “2.3 million Americans are currently incarcerated.” That's about 1% of the population!
Coworker #2: What's that mean?
Coworker #1: In prison.
Coworker #1: Oh, I was thinking castrated…and I thought they only did that to animals.

Muscatine, Iowa

Guy #1: They're making Open Water 2.
Guy #2: That was the worst movie ever, they just float the whole movie. The high point was halfway through when something brushes up against someone's leg. The chick doesn't even get naked in it. They were just floating…just floating the whole movie.

Des Moines, Iowa

Supervisor #1: Did one of you guys grab my obituary off the printer?
Employee: You’re dead?
Supervisor #2: Let’s go see if she has anything good on her desk.

19th Street and Douglas Street

Overheard by: Lloyd

Woman: My daughter is 16.
Guy: Wow, she’s almost grown.
Woman: I know — in two years she’ll be out of the house. I almost wish she had Down Syndrome so she would have to live with me forever.

Davenport, Iowa

Blonde hostess: So, I started saying, ‘Oy’ all the time this summer, and someone asked me where that word came from. I think it must just be a midwestern thing to say, huh?

Ames, Iowa

Male grad student to female TA: Oh, hey! Congratulations on not fracturing your skull!

Geology Department
University of Iowa

Overheard by: Another Grad

Clerk: Okay, you have 12:45 and 1:45 subcommittees, AG is at 1:00, and Natural Resources is at 2: 00. I’m going to leave everything here on my desk and go do some work in the back office.
Senator: Do you even think I’m listening to you?
Clerk: No, not really.

State Capitol
Des Moines, Iowa

Worker #1: Who’s that?
Worker #2: What, the new temp?
Worker #1: Oh. What happened to the other lady?
Worker #2: She was too over-qualified.
Worker #1: What, and the new guy’s not? What is his experience?
Worker #2: Well, he was a turd farmer from poor Virginia.

Des Moines, Iowa

Employee on phone: How’s the weather there? Is it sunny?
Speaker: It’s raining.
Employee on phone: Oh. So is the sun shining?

Des Moines, Iowa

Coworker, on phone with husband: Well, I think they fell out of my… (pause) That's alright, there's a lot of shit to clean up.

Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: Shocked and Awed