Recruiter on phone: Are you bilingual? (pause) Do you speak a language other than English? Do you speak Spanish? Okay, do you speak English?

Park Ave
New York City, New York

Interviewer: In you medical record it states you had tuberculosis, how did you come across that?
Former sailor/job seeker: I dunno… Probably the whorehouses.

La Plata, Maryland

Overheard by: Got the job ayway!

Account manager: So I sent you that new job applicant. Have fun.
Recruiter: I just opened it up. Wow, she completely misspelled ‘Delaware State.‘
Account manager: Oh, it gets worse.
Recruiter: ‘Seven years,’ with an ‘-s!’ And she spelled ‘with’ wrong!
Account manager: Yep, and she’s a detail‐oriented professional.

Trolley Square
Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Rhymes with Banana

Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.

Miller Avenue
Fontana, California

Employer: If I were to ask you for one thing you are not good at, what would it be?
Interviewee: Uh…answering questions like this one?

Insurance HR office
Toronto, Canadia

Interviewer: So, I see from your resume that you spent two years in Africa with the Peace Corps.
Interviewee: Yes.
Interviewer: Did you work with any minorities there?

Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I was the minority

Interviewer: So, how long have you been at this address?
Applicant: All day until I heard about this job fair.

450 Clyde Fant Parkway
Shreveport, Louisiana

Interviewer: I’m sorry. From my conversation with your former supervisor I expected you to be a man!
Interviewee: I’m a girl! I’ll show you!

Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California

Job applicant #1: No job is worth having to give someone my pee in a plastic cup!
Job applicant #2: Uh‐oh, you’re refusing the drug test?
Job applicant #1: Oh, it’s just a drug test? I thought that manager guy was just some sort of pee‐pee pervert.

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Interviewer: So, how would you say you handle changes in the workplace?
Interviewee: Um…Oh! I’m really good with change. I used to work a cash register, and if the total came to $7.49 and they gave me a ten, I’d give them 3…no…$2.60…uh…$2.51!
Interviewer: Uh…okay!

Ames, Iowa