Writer: So, if I get the new position I’ll be your boss.
Designer: That’s what I hear.
Writer: I could be all… pimp-slapping you if you got out of line. Or, like, assigning you all kinds of work while I’m laying on the beach drinking one percent milk.
Designer: With that raise you could be drinking whole milk!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Female boss: Well, there’s other ways to handle it.
Male boss: I know. It becomes, ‘Why should I fire you when I can make your job miserable and make you quit?’
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Chick: Hi, I’m here for the interview…
Employee: Alright… What’s your name?
Chick: I’m here for an appointment at 3:30.
Employee: Oh, it’s noon right now, so… not for a while!
Chick: Oh, is it? Ohhh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I’m, like, really blazed right now.
Northlake Boulevard
West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: cool, im hungover.
CEO: Anywho, it’ll make us look honest, at least, if we say we just won’t charge for that job. We don’t want to just out-and-tell them we fucked that one all to hell.
34921 Del Rio Drive
Ontario, California
Employee #1: Now, where did ‘Disco Inferno’ come from?
Employee #2: Not me! It’s not on my iPod!
Employee #1: I think it came from the refrigerator!
Employee #2: Oh really?
Employee #1: No, this is serious! You’re not the one with ‘Disco Inferno’ stuck in your head!
Chevy Chase
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: kitchen watcher
Chick: So you don’t know anything about anything behind the service desk?
Old manager: No, nothing.
Chick: So what happens if someone comes in here and robs us? You don’t know how to push the button to call the cops?
Old manager: No.
Chick: So… what if that happens?
Old manager: I do know how to hire a new person.
Lawyers Road
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: CSReppingsucks.
Guy #1: Hey, I thought you left already. When is your last day?
Guy #2: No, I’m still here until Thursday. Why?
Guy #1: I just wanted to know when you’re still just working here and when I should call security.
7-Eleven, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Management material: Can I have a job application? I came in last week for one but I lost it.
277 Coalinga Plaza
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Jaime who deals with dumb people
General manager: Should we fire Missy*? She was screaming at you in front of other employees.
Manager #1: I don’t know. What does Missy* feel we should do to her?
General manager: Uh, I didn’t ask her.
Manager #2: She thinks we should buy her a pizza and give her a raise. What the fuck do you think she feels we should do to her?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker on phone: And I like them already, they seem pretty cool. Nothing like starting my day with a cute chick showing me her boob.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: i wanna see!
