Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
Manager: He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
2000 North Andrews Avenue Ext.
Pompano Beach, Florida
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Kirby
New guy: It’s so dull here. I’m using all my energy just to stay awake, which is making me sleepy.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Network News Producer: Why do people live in trailers if they know a hurricane is likely to blow through?
CBS News
524 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Cool manager: No genitalia sculptures on my desk this morning… Pretty good day.
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: Russ G
Boss to bickering clients on conference call: Do you guys always eat each other out like that?
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Salesman: What you need to do is sashay out there and tell him like it is.
Boss: First of all, bro, I do not sashay.
State Street
Beaver, Pennsylvania
Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.
473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: web edit monkey
