Smart Bosses

Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
Manager: That would be petty theft.

8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida

Manager: He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

2000 North Andrews Avenue Ext.
Pompano Beach, Florida

Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.

Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney

Overheard by: get back to work!

Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.

Rochester, Minnesota

Overheard by: Kirby

New guy: It’s so dull here. I’m using all my energy just to stay awake, which is making me sleepy.

10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY

Network News Producer: Why do people live in trailers if they know a hurricane is likely to blow through?

CBS News
524 West 57th Street
New York, NY

Cool manager: No genitalia sculptures on my desk this morning… Pretty good day.

Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: Russ G

Boss to bickering clients on conference call: Do you guys always eat each other out like that?


Salesman: What you need to do is sashay out there and tell him like it is.
Boss: First of all, bro, I do not sashay.

State Street
Beaver, Pennsylvania

Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.

473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: web edit monkey