Large male peon: Oh, I usually take the stairs. Do you mind if we take the stairs?
Large lady peon: Yeah, no-no-no. That’s absolutely fine. I take the stairs all the time. Absolutely. So long as it isn’t up.
Opperman Drive
Eagan, Minnesota
Overheard by: I’m taking the elevator
Trendy vegan worker: What’s that smell? Is someone cooking bacon?
Coworker: There’s some in my salad.
Trendy vegan worker: That’s so odd. I never even liked bacon, but it smells so good! It’s making me horny!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cube dweller: You would not believe what an expensive soy sauce can do!
535 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Employee: Thank you for calling Jimmy’s Pizza.
Customer: Hi, yes, do you serve pizza there?
Employee: … Uhhh, yeah… Yes, we do.
4th Street
Albany, Minnesota
Overheard by: Keira
Clerk: You know, the adult videos are ‘Buy two, get a third free.’
Best girlfriend evar: Really? Honey, go get that one we were looking at.
Boyfriend: What, the one with the two blondes on the cover?
BGE: No, no — the pirates one.
Boyfriend: Okay, be right back.
BGE, as soon as he’s out of earshot: Quick, while he’s gone can you box up that Spiderman statue behind you, too?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cube worker #1: I think I found the secret project.
Cube worker #2: Mine?
Cube worker #1: You have a secret project?
Cube worker #2: Uh, no.
390 North Robert Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Guy: How are you going to tell your mom that you didn’t do your homework because you have a gorilla fetish?
Girl: It’s not a fetish, I’m just curious about their… stuff.
Guy: It’s still fucked up.
Washington Avenue Bridge, University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Female coworker: What are Dick’s?
Male coworker: Oh, Dick’s are huge!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Meghan
Boss: I don’t see it as a big thing, I see it as a thing.
Woodbury, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I report to this guy
CIO: You developers have to tell the BAs if you’re going to miss a deadline, or they’ll be in the dark. Then they can’t tell the managers, and they’ll be in the dark. Pretty soon we have this big snowball of darkness.
625 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
