Co-worker #1: What’s a carpet muncher? Is that a new slang for vacuum cleaner?
Co-worker #2: Um, no. He, he, he. I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you ask the boss for a carpet muncher.
Co-worker #1: Why? I don’t have carpeting.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Meeting Lead: The customer wanted another dropdown here for more detail. They have “Category” and “Sub-Category” but they want another one below “Sub-Category”. I suggested “Sub-Sub-Category”.
11 East Superior Street
Duluth, Minnesota
Worker #1: That guy really gets on my nerves with his whistling.
Worker #2: Hey [Bryan]! Whistle from where I fucked you last.
21100 Rogers Drive
Rogers, Minnesota
Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?
800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Flunky #1: The internet is broken.
Flunky #2: What’s wrong?
Flunky #1: I can’t get to any sites.
3001 Broadway Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?
501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: fmm
Co-worker #1: It’s so dry in here, I can feel the skin on my face drying up from the inside out.
Co-worker #2: Do you use moisturizer?
Co-worker #1: Oh yes, if I didn’t my face would look just like my grandpa’s…and he’s been dead for seven years.
1301 West Chestnut Street
Virginia, Minnesota
Pharmacist #1: Wow, this chair is really great! Whose chair is this?
Pharmacist #2: It belongs to [Dana]. Isn’t it great? He got it for his back or something.
[Dana]: You have no idea how many people I had to sleep with to get that chair!
800 28th Street E
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Assistant: I spent 8 hours of overtime this weekend retyping the spreadsheet for the tax assessor.
Co-worker: They didn’t like the arrangement of the spreadsheet so you had to redo it? What do you mean “redo”, did you retype everything?
Assistant: Yes, most of it, some I cut and pasted/
Co-worker: Do you know how to use Data Sort?
Assistant: Excel can’t do a numerical sort, only alphabetical, and they didn’t want that, so I retyped everything.
10 2nd Street NE
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: sweetwhitelady
Employee #1: Oh, so you are talking apples and oranges?
Employee #2: No, I am talking about two different things.
701 Park Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
