Executives

VP:I swear to God, the assistant at [DouglasCo] is so stupid.
Admin: Hey, even stupid people need jobs.
Coworker: Yeah. Some of them even make it to VP.

388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY

CIO: So, we’re okay now?
Manager: No, we still have problems, but they’re higher quality problems.

5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland

Overheard by: Cantabile

VP: Everyone’s getting pregnant here.
Co-worker: By the way, I’m going to be pregnant and gay on Monday.

1850 Elm Hill Pike
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: V. Schipani

Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Sales: You quoted 3 different prices to this customer.
CEO: You’re not calling me an idiot, are you?
Sales: I’m saying that having been given all the facts you made 3 incompatable decisions.
CEO: That’s sufficiently blameless.

12819 Coit Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Originator: Two charts are just great. Very helpful. Two is a lot more
than one.
VP: Yeah, it’s like twice as much.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

VP: There is only so much you can do with one hand.
Co-worker: I’m not going to touch that.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Exec: Okay, before I forget…um. I already forgot.

460 Park Ave South
New York, NY

Overheard by: J.B.

CEO: We can’t shoot our parents until we can afford to move out of the house.

355 Burrard Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Musician: Nice of you to join us.
Exec: Well, you were 30 minutes late; I went to take a shit!
Musician: You’re entitled to that.
Exec: I washed my hand if you want to shake it.

875 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: N & S