Saleswoman: Actually, I’m a vegetarian.
Salesman #1: Oh man, I couldn’t do that. That is crazy.
Salesman #2: Yeah, my dream is to eat an entire cow.
Salesman #1: My friend actually bought a second refrigerator so that he could put a cow into it.
Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Herbie
Sales guy on phone: An inch and a half between the legs? … Yeah, that sounds pretty big for that size rod. … Are you standing it up like a horseshoe and measuring it? … Okay, let me get you some prices and call back.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: It’s a fastener thing.. you wouldn’t understand
Homeowner answering telephone: Hola.
Telemarketer, in broken English: I am calling to tell you about a new calling plan…
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer: Do you speak English?
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer, speaking very slowly: Then I will speak English very slowly to you.
Homeowner: No habla Ingles, adios.
921 South Irby Street
Florence, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
Sales chick, holding sales order: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Warehouse guy: Oh, no, that one is real small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, moving on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m going to have it ship today instead of with their large order. Thanks!
Warehouse guy, sticking finger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Peon: I wanted to show you this order. I think someone dropped the ball.
Sales associate: Let’s see whose order it is…Oh, it’s Ryan’s*. And he’s out this week.
Peon: Uh-oh.
Sales associate: See what happens when you go on vacation? Your balls get dropped!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Assistant: Do I need to do anything with this e-mail to Karen*?
Sales guy: No.
Assistant: Okay, I’m going to just drop it over into her folder and move on.
Sales guy: Okay, that’s up to you.
Assistant: I save everything.
Sales guy: I like to delete. If I know you’ve saved it, I just delete it.
Assistant: Yeah, but what if my computer bursts into flames? Or what if I quit?
Sales guy: You? Quit? [laughs]Assistant: You shouldn’t laugh…
Sales guy: Oh.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male customer: Well, we’re definitely interested. We’ll be back this week to make the purchase.
Sales chick: It was a pleasure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Female customer: Oh, Katie. We’ll remember that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, whispering: Katie is the name of my “other” personality.
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, turning to male customer: Katie is not very nice, is she, darling?
Male customer: No, dear, she’s not.
Northridge, California
Overheard by: charlotte
Sales girl #1: Hey, guys, there are two Oriental ladies walking to the back. Help them if you can.
Sales girl #2: We Orientals prefer to be called “Asians.”
South Coast Plaza
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: another oriental
Assistant: Did anyone order anything from Nuclear?
Sales guy: From who?
Assistant: Nuclear. N-U-C-O-R.
Sales girl: Nucor?
Assistant: Um, yeah. Ha ha ha. Sorry.
Sales guy: Yeah, you’re missing a few letters there.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Salesguy: Hon? No, i didn’t call her “hon”. . . I don’t even call my wife “hon.” Isn’t that one of those… terms of endearmeants? Is that what it’s called? [Pause] I do use the B-word a lot.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
