Sales

Salesperson to another: Wow! I like your new pants? (pause) Do they fit you?

Plattsburgh, New York

Sales guy to coworker: Why did anyone vote for Obama? Because he's a good oracle? Big deal if he speaks good…

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Sales girl: But I sent you an electronic e-mail!

Middleboro, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Mikey

Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: What do you think of what I am wearing?
Secular Muslim salesgirl #2: I'm glad you asked, it's bizarre. Why are you wearing such a short skirt? It's winter! And is that shirt actually lingerie? And why are you wearing a veil? Especially with all this? I've never seen you wear a veil!
Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: My grandmother put glue in my shampoo bottle to try to force me to cover my hair and dress more conservatively. I didn't have time to fix it. I had to wear a veil. And the rest… well, I couldn't let her win.

Clothing Store
Sarajevo
Bosnia and Herzegovina

Visiting sales rep: Wow, that aquarium is really cool! Is it a lot of work?
Desk owner: Thanks. It’s not too hard once it’s set up for a while.
Visiting sales rep: I’ve never seen one with all those things with testicles in it before.
Desk owner: [Silence until sales rep obliviously boards elevator.]

75 Battery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: We didn’t buy her product.

Team manager to sales rep: Girl, you just gotta be comfortable. You gotta be easy!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Project Manager

Cashier: Hi! How are you doing?
Customer, sighing: I’m 83 years old, my kids don’t visit me and when they do their kids annoy the fuck out of me, I haven’t had sex in 20 years, and you’re out of my favorite ice cream.
Cashier: Look, lady, I didn’t really care — next time just freaking smile and say, ‘I’m fine, how are you?’ Now… Have a good day.
Customer: Thank you. See you tomorrow.

Piggly Wiggly
Farmville, North Carolina

Overheard by: MB

Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Sales guy #1: You know, this hand sanitizer stuff. Can you like.. wash with it?

Uncertain silence.

Sales guy #1: Like, wash your whole body?
Sales guy #2: Well, you’re going to need a bigger bottle.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Designer to sales rep, about ad consultation: Do you want to do it with me right now?
Sales rep: You can do me right now? I'll just go downstairs and get my stuff.
Designer: The room is free, so we'll have no problem getting it in.

Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: m00nwater