Sales

85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?

Hotel
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Rather Disgusted

Sales rep, about boss: There's a woman who knows her sausages!

Madison, Wisconsin

CSR to customer, on phone: Forgive me, there's going to be a lot of Johnsons.

Golden, Colorado

Overheard by: Maho

Sales guy: Oh, crap! I left the cap off my Sharpie last night! [Tries it on paper] Oh, no! What can I do?!
Cube rat #1: Well, you could try running a little water over the tip. Or, um, you could just throw it away and get a new one.
Sales guy: Put some water on it? Would that work?
Cube rat #2: Is it a Sharpie or a marker?
Cube rat #3: If putting water on it doesn’t work, try licking it.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Visiting salesgirl: Hi, I’m here to see Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: Do you mean Carrie Schwartz?
Visiting salesgirl: No, I’m pretty sure her name was Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: We don’t have a Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw is from Sex and the City.

245 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.

1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine

Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.

Victor, New York

Overheard by: Yikes!

Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.

Chantilly, Virginia

Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.

Levittown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Flynn

Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don't live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.

Provo, Utah

Overheard by: Chris Lumo