Large male peon: Oh, I usually take the stairs. Do you mind if we take the stairs?
Large lady peon: Yeah, no-no-no. That’s absolutely fine. I take the stairs all the time. Absolutely. So long as it isn’t up.
Opperman Drive
Eagan, Minnesota
Overheard by: I’m taking the elevator
Office chick: How was your weekend?
Office guy: I got a sunburn! Look, my skin is flaking off! [Rubs his arm.]Office chick: Stop! You’re flaking into my coffee!
San Antonio, Texas
Girl on cell: I totally need to go to a doctor. I think I have that imitation bowel syndrome!
Office
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Hot intern #1: You know why I love wearing miniskirts on Mondays?
Hot intern #2: Maybe. Why?
Hot intern #1: Because I can air things out after a weekend of hard work.
Hot intern #2: Oh, hey, I wonder if that would work for me…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting any
Crazy ER patient: I believe in the Lord! I believe in the Lord! I believe in the Lord!
Monotone nurse #1, taking vitals: Blood pressure, 150 over 80… Pulse, 110.
Nurse #2: Yes, yes, but does he believe in the Lord?
Monotone nurse #1: Haha. Hold him. [Jabs crazy patient with a needle.]Crazy ER patient: I believe in– Aaauuugh! You bitch!
Nurse #2: What about the Lord?
Crazy ER patient: Auuugh! Stop taking my blood, you bitch!
Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Young woman: Do you want your patients to die?
Older woman: Well, that would be one approach.
Rochester, New York
Clerk #1: Sorry, I’m a little dyslexic.
Clerk #2: My dog died of dyslexia!
1901 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Office Droid
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Teacher #1: So, I went to my gynecologist yesterday, and he told me I had an exceptionally nice vagina.
Teacher #2: Oh, that was nice of him.
214 Race Street
Middletown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: poor student who wanted to ask a question
