Health & Hygiene

Co-Worker on phone: So I was throwing up in the bathroom, and my three best friends were having sex in the stall next to me.

1601 Cloverfield Boulevard
Santa Monica, California

Worker #1: Hey, man, you got one of them stick stain remover things?
Worker #2: Hell yes I do!
Worker #1: You know if it work on blood?

3908 Avenue B
Austin, Texas

Guy: I’m writing this script that takes place in an office and I was wondering, is toner flammable?

570 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Ethan

Tech #1: Did you see this consumer complaint? “Your cereal gave me herpes and AIDS.” I guess we’re giving out AIDS as a special promotion.
Tech #2: We’re putting blood in the product now?
Tech #1: Knowing this place, more likely it’s semen.

901 East Whitmore
Modesto, California

Overheard by: Changing my breakfast plans

Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.

390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York

Manager: How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I’ve been taking this stuff from the internet that’s supposed to help with memory. I wanted to see if you have it here.
Manager: Ok, we probably do. Was it Gingko Biloba?
Customer: Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure. I can’t remember what it’s called.

GNC, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Dash

Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.

Dentist winces.

Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.

105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia

Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!

6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri

Overheard by: Transient Girl

Female: My nipples are boring.
Male: Does our insurance cover that?

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Coworker #1: I think he had some kind of superdog
Coworker #2: What is a Superdog?
Coworker #1: I think they are dogs that do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to retarded kids or something.
Coworker #2: Oh… okay, yeah, I know the ones.

5885 NW Cornelius Pass Road
Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Curious Listener