Hot intern #1: You know why I love wearing miniskirts on Mondays?
Hot intern #2: Maybe. Why?
Hot intern #1: Because I can air things out after a weekend of hard work.
Hot intern #2: Oh, hey, I wonder if that would work for me…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting any
Crazy ER patient: I believe in the Lord! I believe in the Lord! I believe in the Lord!
Monotone nurse #1, taking vitals: Blood pressure, 150 over 80… Pulse, 110.
Nurse #2: Yes, yes, but does he believe in the Lord?
Monotone nurse #1: Haha. Hold him. [Jabs crazy patient with a needle.]Crazy ER patient: I believe in– Aaauuugh! You bitch!
Nurse #2: What about the Lord?
Crazy ER patient: Auuugh! Stop taking my blood, you bitch!
Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Young woman: Do you want your patients to die?
Older woman: Well, that would be one approach.
Rochester, New York
Clerk #1: Sorry, I’m a little dyslexic.
Clerk #2: My dog died of dyslexia!
1901 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Office Droid
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Teacher #1: So, I went to my gynecologist yesterday, and he told me I had an exceptionally nice vagina.
Teacher #2: Oh, that was nice of him.
214 Race Street
Middletown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: poor student who wanted to ask a question
Toddler: What are you doing?
Mom: I’m changing your diaper.
Toddler: Now what are you doing?
Mom: I’m wiping you.
Toddler: Where’s my penis?
Mom: It’s right there.
Toddler: Where’s Daddy?
Stop & Shop
New Paltz, New York
Mother to son behind the curtain: If you don’t behave, I’m not going to take you to the hospital ever again.
Franklin Square Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Brain Surgeon
80-something husband: Did you get the Viagra?
80-something wife: [Mutters something inaudible.]80-something husband: Well, did you get the prescription for the Viagra?
80-something lady sitting nearby: He’s aimin’ for tonight!
2323 Edinboro Road
Erie, Pennsylvania
