Tech #1: Did you see this consumer complaint? “Your cereal gave me herpes and AIDS.” I guess we’re giving out AIDS as a special promotion.
Tech #2: We’re putting blood in the product now?
Tech #1: Knowing this place, more likely it’s semen.
901 East Whitmore
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Changing my breakfast plans
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
Manager: How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I’ve been taking this stuff from the internet that’s supposed to help with memory. I wanted to see if you have it here.
Manager: Ok, we probably do. Was it Gingko Biloba?
Customer: Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure. I can’t remember what it’s called.
GNC, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Dash
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri
Overheard by: Transient Girl
Female: My nipples are boring.
Male: Does our insurance cover that?
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Coworker #1: I think he had some kind of superdog
Coworker #2: What is a Superdog?
Coworker #1: I think they are dogs that do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to retarded kids or something.
Coworker #2: Oh… okay, yeah, I know the ones.
5885 NW Cornelius Pass Road
Hillsboro, Oregon
Overheard by: Curious Listener
Boss talking to client and client’s son in front office: So this is your youngest boy, isn’t it? I’ve met him before.
Client: Uh… I don’t think you have.
Boss: Yeah, I’m sure I have…. He’s Down’s Syndrome, isn’t he?
Client: No
98 Fitzroy Street
Grafton, Australia
Overheard by: gus shanks
Data center drone: God! I hate sharing workstations with the night shift. Every day when I come in, my chair smells like ass and the desk smells like armpit. Doesn’t [Tim] ever take a bath?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
IT guy sneezes several times.
IT guy: I think I’m allergic to the flowers on this screen.
Nearby blonde: Really? You can change the screen saver if you want.
Paddington Street, Paddington
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Jane Kenny
