Thrift store connoisseur: Well, I don’t like underwear with stains anyway…
19043 Wentworth Avenue
Lansing, Illinois
Overheard by: Rusti
Thrift store connoisseur: Well, I don’t like underwear with stains anyway…
19043 Wentworth Avenue
Lansing, Illinois
Overheard by: Rusti
Black woman on cell: All he did was look at my vagina, and I owe him 300 dollars?
Federal Credit Union, 2nd Avenue and Chestnut Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Coworker: So, this woman at my church just had twins, except she had three of them.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: fly on the wall
AP woman: You look like you’re getting your figure back.
AR woman: I’m trying — I’ve become obsessed with BJs.
Richmond Road
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Health clinic employee: That woman is one kooky cracker!
Manager: I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: But you and Dr. Horowitz* call patients ‘crazy’ all the time. What’s the difference between ‘kooky’ and ‘crazy’?
Manager: I just don’t want you to call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: It’s still alright to call them ‘crackers’ though, right?
104 Market Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’
7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?
CFO: Our budget has been balanced the last few years because of unpaid maternity leaves, and we are working that into our models for coming years.
Committee member: So our financial solvency is based on people in the company having sex?
CFO: Basically.
Klaipeda
Lithuania
Guy #1: Hey, you don’t look so great.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m sick, I think I might throw up.
Guy #1: I’ve thrown up lots of times at work… but I was hung-over.
Downtown, Boston, MA
Guy: So, I figure that either they tried to give dad a needle somewhere he didn’t want it, or something really bad happened.
Broadway
Winnipeg, Canada
Overheard by: Shalamar
Restaurant manager, to hobo panhandling inside the restaurant: You need to leave right now.
Hobo: Man, how you know I not here for some crab cakes and fine wine?
Restaurant manager: Because you have human shit all over your pants.
Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
