Health & Hygiene

Intern #1: So are you lactose intolerant?
Intern #2: No, I’m not lactose intolerant, it just makes my throat close up.

304 Hudson Street
New York, NY

Assistant: If you want to see how dusty the floor is, just look at the heels on my shoes.
Project Manager: Oh, I thought you were telling me to look at your knees.

1100 West Anderson Court
Oak Creek, Wisconsin

Architect #1: She’s an artist.
Architect #2: No, she’s crazy.

515 Canal Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Emma B

Worker on cell: Sorry about that. I had a pencil in my hand and when I
put the phone to my head, I stabbed myself in the face.

1950 Summit Park Drive
Orlando, Florida

VP: Everyone’s getting pregnant here.
Co-worker: By the way, I’m going to be pregnant and gay on Monday.

1850 Elm Hill Pike
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: V. Schipani

Co-worker #1: Wow, it smells really fruity in here…Fruity in a good way.
Co-worker #2: Of course.

50 Beale Street
San Francisco, California

Worker: [Bryan]’s sick today; he IMed me and said he needs one of us to come to his house and give him a sponge bath.

1831 Chestnut Street
St. Louis, Missouri

Clerk #1: My bladder hurts.
Clerk #2: What for?
Clerk #1: I was holding it all morning, and then I finally went, and now it’s been hurting.
Clerk #2: You probably shouldn’t do that. Your bladder can explode, you know.

49275 Electron Drive
San Diego, California

Worker #1: That’s a great way to start the day. Talkin’ about dog farts and placentas.
Worker #2: Breakfast, anyone?

5885 11th Street
Rockford, Illinois

Co-worker: Oh, I keep having these irrational dreams too. The other night I dreamt that I made this little mistake and it brought down like the entire company. And in the papers it said, “entire company went down because of this one stupid assistant!” And everyone knew my name and I couldn’t get a job anywhere, so I have to move to Europe and marry a guy to get my visa. Then I was a product of domestic abuse because he knew I was co-dependent on him.

175 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Peter H