Co-worker: I slept like a crack baby last night.
1 California Street
San Francisco, Califrornia
Co-worker: I slept like a crack baby last night.
1 California Street
San Francisco, Califrornia
Co-worker #1: There’s so much free food in this office!
Co-worker #2: At least we’re young and not obese.
Co-worker #1: Seriously…when you turn 45 and you’re working for the State, they should just pay for your gastric bypass surgery.
The Capitol Building
400 South Monroe Street
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Kara M.
Coordinator: Is it like really hot in here, or am I having early menopause?
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
New hire: Lord, I am not drinking any of this company’s water. There are entirely too many pregnant people here.
9106 E. Panorama Circle
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Homer Thompson
Guy #1: [Scratches his chest.]Guy #2: You ok?
Guy #1: Yeah… My chest itches. I shaved it.
Guy #2: You shaved your chest?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Why? That’s not like shaving your balls… You shave your balls, right?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I shave everything below my belly button.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.
Seattle, Washington
Chick: I never understood the design of that thing, but I've had it in my mouth a thousand times.
Dude: Yeah, me too.
Dental Office
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: I've never had it in mouth
A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.
Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.
5 minutes pass.
Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.
55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Emily Hopkins
Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?
Mandeville, Louisiana
Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS
Admin #1: I would really like to take a solid shit one of these days.
Admin #2: Mud butt?
Admin #1: Total.
Admin #2: Hmmmm.
Admin #2: More fiber is needed.
Admin #1: What has a lot of fiber in it?
Admin #2: I don't know…let me look.
Richfield, Minnesota
