Health & Hygiene

Co-worker #1: Isn’t it true that a tick can get into your ear and work its way into your brain?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: I’m worried that a tick or some kind of bug has worked its way into my brain…I’ve had an awful earache for about two weeks now.

3 Berkshire Boulevard
Bethel, Connecticut

Co-worker: I slept like a crack baby last night.

1 California Street
San Francisco, Califrornia

Co-worker #1: There’s so much free food in this office!
Co-worker #2: At least we’re young and not obese.
Co-worker #1: Seriously…when you turn 45 and you’re working for the State, they should just pay for your gastric bypass surgery.

The Capitol Building
400 South Monroe Street
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Kara M.

Coordinator: Is it like really hot in here, or am I having early menopause?

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

New hire: Lord, I am not drinking any of this company’s water. There are entirely too many pregnant people here.

9106 E. Panorama Circle
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Homer Thompson

Guy #1: [Scratches his chest.]Guy #2: You ok?
Guy #1: Yeah… My chest itches. I shaved it.
Guy #2: You shaved your chest?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Why? That’s not like shaving your balls… You shave your balls, right?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I shave everything below my belly button.

Mahwah, New Jersey

Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.

Seattle, Washington

Chick: I never understood the design of that thing, but I've had it in my mouth a thousand times.
Dude: Yeah, me too.

Dental Office
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I've never had it in mouth

A co-worker steps out of the elevator into the reception lobby.

Co-worker #1: Ew, it smells like a nursing home in here.

5 minutes pass.

Co-worker #2: Mmm, it smells good in here.

55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Emily Hopkins

Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?

Mandeville, Louisiana

Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS