Lies

11AM Project Assignments

HR #1: Why would anyone agree to take on more responsibility if we’re not going to pay them more?
HR #2: We’re giving them more projects to work on that will be more advanced than what they’re working on right now. I think people look for a challenge and they will be willing to take on more responsibility if it promises to be rewarding. Besides, most of them are in their twenties and need to start somewhere. So you see, we really are paying them more…in experience.
HR #1: Who is ever going to fall for that?

150 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Snoop E.

1PM Lunch

Copywriter: I was accosted by a woman with a French accent at the mall at lunch today.
Art Director: Really? How odd.
Copywriter: Yeah, she buffed my nails and I purchased her product. Only now am I remembering the accent as being fake.
Art Director: I had a run in with the cops over lunch.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Yet This George Foreman Grill Is Not As Handy As Expected

Cubicle rat on phone: I expect a white man to lie to me, not a black guy.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Greg

Girl Scouts Are So Cute

Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.

Chicago, Illinois

10AM Cancel New Headset Order

Employee: My headset for my phone doesn’t work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh…you see what’s wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line…so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won’t get all caught up.

11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska

Wallace Is Organized to a Fault

Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.

Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia

I’m Going to Call You Back Using a Fake British Accent

Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.

Paterson, New Jersey

…Shit– I Broke an Acrylic Nail.

Employee #1, looking at t-shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn't she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she's so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn't Spanish. She's so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.

Kohl's Department Store
Minnesota

Overheard by: Expect Great Things

Preschool Admissions Criteria Get More Daunting by the Day

Serious nurse: …but, I'd be lying if I said bloodlust didn't have a lot to do with it.

Hospital
Manchester, Tennessee

Overheard by: Mouse

3PM Shannon’s Goodbye Party

Admin: We’re going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I’d like to say that I’ll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I’m not going to say it.

6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio

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