Cubicle rat on phone: I expect a white man to lie to me, not a black guy.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Greg

Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.

Chicago, Illinois

Employee: My headset for my phone doesn’t work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh…you see what’s wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line…so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won’t get all caught up.

11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska

Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.

Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario

Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.

Paterson, New Jersey

Employee #1, looking at t‑shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn’t she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she’s so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn’t Spanish. She’s so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.

Kohl’s Department Store

Overheard by: Expect Great Things

Serious nurse: …but, I’d be lying if I said bloodlust didn’t have a lot to do with it.

Manchester, Tennessee

Overheard by: Mouse

Admin: We’re going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I’d like to say that I’ll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I’m not going to say it.

6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio

Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No.

6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California 

Son, pointing to a tip can: Mom, what’s that?
Mom: That’s where they put all the naughty kids that are bothering the parents.
Son: No they don’t!
Mom: It’s true, you can ask the lady.
Grocery bagger: Yup, your mom’s right.

Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: Worker #43