Lies

Editor, looking at ad for “Summer Garden Madness”: Why is everything “madness”? There’s nothing “madness” about a basket of vegetables.

2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York

Overheard by: angry carrot

Manager who has been in the office all week: Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I haven't gotten that to you. Yeah, I know you need it. I haven't been home, I've been traveling.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: liz

Woman: I take an exact size 9.
Salesgirl: We only have an 8 and a 10.
Woman: I’ll take the 10.

Niagara-on-the-Lake
Ontario, Canada

Overheard by: bored at work

Engineer, to the HR director: Just in case you get a phone call about it later, I wasn’t trying to look at gay porn on my computer.

Farmers Branch, Texas

Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle “c” after everything.

312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Female employee: At first I thought she was bullshitting me to get out of going to daycare.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Joy

VP: Are you pregnant?
Worker #1: No!
VP: I’m just asking because it seems like you get pregnant every two months.
Worker #2: Hey! You can’t ask people if they are pregnant!
VP: I didn’t ask her if she was pregnant.

625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Grad student: A few months ago she said it was national bring-your-bunny-to-work day– which I'm pretty sure she made up…so when I walked by her cube she had the bunny in a makeshift fort between her purse and some binders. And the next time I walked by, eight members of the senior staff were sitting in a circle on the floor playing with the bunny in the middle.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Intern

Woman #1, waiting for elevator: We should really take the stairs.
Woman #2: Yeah. I've been trying to take the stairs more.
(they proceed to wait another three minutes, until elevator finally comes)

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Young admin, talking about boyfriend who just moved: Yeah, but I'm really good with long distance relationships.
Manger: So you say, but haven't you cheated on all your exes so far?
Young admin: Um, yeah…technically.
Manger: So basically you just always find someone to fill the hole when they're gone. Shit! I mean void…I *so* didn't mean it like that!

Santa Maria, California