Boss: You're not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Boss: You're not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.
Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jen
Geek #1: Yeah, I'm pretty good with the chicks these days.
Geek #2: Oh, yeah? How?
Geek #1: I just walk up to them and be like “how you doiiiinn'” and I got them.
Geek #2: Then why are you always with me?
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.
Cleveland, Ohio
Office drone #1: Hello, may I help you? (pause) Who? Allen Michaels?* Please hold.
(shouting) Does anyone know where Allen* is?
Office drone #2: He's not in yet. Don't know where he is.
Office drone #1: I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. He said he'll call you back. (pause) Yes, he knows it's urgent. Thank you. (hangs up)
Brooklyn
New York
Overheard by: Jay-B (I work in a wacky place)
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Assistant manager, about e-mail to customer: Wow, that was so much bullshit I didn’t even know when to stop!
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Editor, looking at ad for “Summer Garden Madness”: Why is everything “madness”? There’s nothing “madness” about a basket of vegetables.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: angry carrot
Manager who has been in the office all week: Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I haven't gotten that to you. Yeah, I know you need it. I haven't been home, I've been traveling.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: liz
