Nevada

Receptionist: What are the new shirts made out?
Clerk: They’re 100% cotton.
Receptionist: Cotton? That’s the stuff that grows on sheep, right?
Clerk: No, cotton comes from rabbits. That’s why they’re called cottontails.

10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada

Clerk: It actually hurts talking to you.
Receptionist: Hey, it hurts talking to you, sometimes. You use big words too much.
Clerk: Go away, I’ve hit my stupid quotient for the day.
Manager: You are so mean to her.

10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada

Manager #1: I don’t feel like working today.
Manager #2: So why don’t you go home?
Manager #1: ‘Cause I don’t get paid to do nothing at home….

3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Cathie

Cube monkey girl: I don't have any gray hairs on my head, but I have a gray patch down there.
Male coworker: Those are cobwebs, not gray hairs.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Sergeant: I need you to call an ambulance for a 32-year-old pregnant woman.
Control room operator: What do I tell them is wrong with her?
Sergeant: Well, she’s pregnant!

Clark County Detention Center
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: cro

Cube monkey: Why do things that happen to stupid people always happen to me?

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Manager: Okay everyone, here are some ways you can spot a shoplifter–
Associate: Just look for someone that looks like a Gypsy.
Manager: That’s really not appropriate.
Associate: I’m telling you, they’re all over Italy!

3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Cathie

Art director: Does anyone want to see a baby wrestle a cobra?

West Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada

Woman #1: The classified logo scripts aren’t working.
Woman #2: Bob* is working on them, but he’s going on vacation tomorrow so the scripts won’t be done until September.
Woman #1: September?!
Woman #2: Yeah, well, you can have IT work on it, but then who knows how long it’ll be before they get around to doing it.
Woman #1: Think they’d do it faster if I showed them my boobs?

1111 West Bonanza Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

Older front desk agent to newer one: Hey, Michael, is your name Peter?

Hotel
Las Vegas, Nevada