Nevada

Teacher: Explain that to me again.
Parent: I just don’t gets it. I’s lay with a man, and he gets me pregnant.
Teacher: Are you serious?
Parent: Look, bitch, I gots me seven kids, and I don’t know where they be comin’ from. You gots to help me. I goes to sleep, and then I’s wake up pregnant.
Teacher: Look, I’m referring you to the counselor. This is out of my hands.
Parent: Bitch, that ain’t gonna help!
Teacher: Look, I don’t have a direct line with Jesus to help you out, so the counselor is the next best thing. Got that, bitch?

School
Las Vegas, Nevada

Company president to communications VP, discussing radio interview: My whole performance level is based on my hair.

Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Communications manager: He said your box is boring.
Graphics designer: He said my box is what?
Webmaster: You have a boring box?
Graphics designer: I've never had complaints before.

Sensual Products Office
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: sensual products copywriter

HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!

4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal

Distracted sexy woman: I’m in room 7439*.
Bellman: I’m happily married.

Hotel and casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Laurence Crews

Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.

3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Rick

Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.

Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jen

Account exec #1: So, are you still taking calcium?
Account exec #2: Yeah, and I’m still fucking crazy.

289 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

Coworker: All the hot guys kill people! Well, at least the black ones.

Pecos and Sunset Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

Barbie Strikes Again!

Web designer: I need you to print out 65 of those PowerPoint presentations I created.
Graphic designer: How many?
Web designer: 65.
Graphic designer: Okay. Let me write this down. I'm not good at math.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Looks Like Diva