Professor: A “letter of intent”? Whaddya mean, “intent”? I intend on getting myself a sweet little girlfriend like [Nick] has; is that what you mean by “intent”? Get a Korean girlfriend on the side?

San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea

Teacher #1, to teacher #2: I like my vagina the way it is, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Aberfoyle Park High School, Taylors Road East
Aberfoyle Park, South Australia

Overheard by: Megan

Executive assistant on phone: You know, I don't want to sound mean, but something I've noticed is: all the students who have (pause) problems… all take psychology courses! Why do you think that is? Maybe they're just trying to “figure it all out”?

Jesuit University

Overheard by: Admin

Student: Can I get a list of people who write theses?
Receptionist: You mean, the list of typists?
Student: No, I want the list of people who’ll write my thesis for me.


Gay drama teacher: We’re going to McDonald’s, did you want us to pick something up for you?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I don’t eat there.
Gay drama teacher: Why, because of the movie Supersize Me?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I stopped eating there ever since they started cutting down the rain forests to make room for more cow pastures for their meat.
Gay drama teacher: So… then, you don’t want McDonalds?

1311 E Katella Ave
Orange, California

Manager: There is a difference between playing with ourselves and playing with our customers.

8033 Lory Student Center, Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Alli

Computer nerd: Last night I had to set my monkey on fire.

California State University
Northridge, California

Overheard by: Scott

English professor to secretary: According to my college transcript, I took a course in my freshman year called “introduction to drugs”. I have no recollection of this course, and I wonder why.

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: English Major

Very pregnant elementary school teacher: God, I hate screaming kids!

1 Raider Circle
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Fellow Teacher

Secretary #1, talking about the real-life Napa Valley Halloween murder case: The police used his DNA and the kind of cigarettes he smoked to catch the murderer.
Secretary #2: Just like on CSI!

Hamilton, Ohio

Overheard by: TV has the best ideas