School

Professor: A “letter of intent”? Whaddya mean, “intent”? I intend on getting myself a sweet little girlfriend like [Nick] has; is that what you mean by “intent”? Get a Korean girlfriend on the side?

San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea

Teacher #1, to teacher #2: I like my vagina the way it is, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Aberfoyle Park High School, Taylors Road East
Aberfoyle Park, South Australia

Overheard by: Megan

Executive assistant on phone: You know, I don't want to sound mean, but something I've noticed is: all the students who have (pause) problems… all take psychology courses! Why do you think that is? Maybe they're just trying to “figure it all out”?

Jesuit University
Maryland

Overheard by: Admin

Student: Can I get a list of people who write theses?
Receptionist: You mean, the list of typists?
Student: No, I want the list of people who’ll write my thesis for me.

California

Gay drama teacher: We’re going to McDonald’s, did you want us to pick something up for you?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I don’t eat there.
Gay drama teacher: Why, because of the movie Supersize Me?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I stopped eating there ever since they started cutting down the rain forests to make room for more cow pastures for their meat.
Gay drama teacher: So… then, you don’t want McDonalds?

1311 E Katella Ave
Orange, California

Manager: There is a difference between playing with ourselves and playing with our customers.

8033 Lory Student Center, Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Alli

Computer nerd: Last night I had to set my monkey on fire.

California State University
Northridge, California

Overheard by: Scott

English professor to secretary: According to my college transcript, I took a course in my freshman year called “introduction to drugs”. I have no recollection of this course, and I wonder why.

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: English Major

Very pregnant elementary school teacher: God, I hate screaming kids!

1 Raider Circle
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Fellow Teacher

Secretary #1, talking about the real-life Napa Valley Halloween murder case: The police used his DNA and the kind of cigarettes he smoked to catch the murderer.
Secretary #2: Just like on CSI!

School
Hamilton, Ohio

Overheard by: TV has the best ideas