Teacher’s aide: Where did you find the sticky, gooey stuff (Tacky Finger)?
Secretary: In my drawers.
Contour Road
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Teacher’s aide: Where did you find the sticky, gooey stuff (Tacky Finger)?
Secretary: In my drawers.
Contour Road
Gaithersburg, Maryland
High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.
High school
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student
Teacher #1: I can’t teach this kid anymore.
Teacher #2: Why?
Teacher #1: He can’t keep his hands out of his pants.
Teacher #2: So?
Teacher #1: Look, do I have to spell it out? He doesn’t know the difference between shit and food.
Teacher #2: Oh my god, I’m gonna barf.
Teacher #1: Not around this kid. He might thinks it’s a snack.
3035 Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: don’t want to eat the food
Distressed eleven-year-old boy: Ms. B., Aaron called my mom gay and she is gay!
School
Poway, California
Professor: A “letter of intent”? Whaddya mean, “intent”? I intend on getting myself a sweet little girlfriend like [Nick] has; is that what you mean by “intent”? Get a Korean girlfriend on the side?
San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea
Teacher #1, to teacher #2: I like my vagina the way it is, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Aberfoyle Park High School, Taylors Road East
Aberfoyle Park, South Australia
Overheard by: Megan
Executive assistant on phone: You know, I don't want to sound mean, but something I've noticed is: all the students who have (pause) problems… all take psychology courses! Why do you think that is? Maybe they're just trying to “figure it all out”?
Jesuit University
Maryland
Overheard by: Admin
Student: Can I get a list of people who write theses?
Receptionist: You mean, the list of typists?
Student: No, I want the list of people who’ll write my thesis for me.
California
Gay drama teacher: We’re going to McDonald’s, did you want us to pick something up for you?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I don’t eat there.
Gay drama teacher: Why, because of the movie Supersize Me?
Hippie guitar teacher: No, I stopped eating there ever since they started cutting down the rain forests to make room for more cow pastures for their meat.
Gay drama teacher: So… then, you don’t want McDonalds?
1311 E Katella Ave
Orange, California
Manager: There is a difference between playing with ourselves and playing with our customers.
8033 Lory Student Center, Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Alli
