Professor: … And so, if X equals three, then Y— [loud commotion out in the hall] … I’ve been a little jumpy ever since this one time when I got stabbed in class by a student.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: thinking about transferring
Professor: … And so, if X equals three, then Y— [loud commotion out in the hall] … I’ve been a little jumpy ever since this one time when I got stabbed in class by a student.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: thinking about transferring
Reading tutor #1: It’s your turn.
Reading tutor #2: Shut up, I know. I’m thinking. [Places letter on Scrabble board] There.
Reading tutor #3: What’s a gee-ram?
Reading tutor #2: Gram, you idiot.
Lusher Elementary School, Lowerline and Willow
New Orleans, Louisiana
Japanese professor: The peroxides are very volatile. If you drop them, we have to be out of the building before they hit the floor.
Grad student: I won’t drop them.
Japanese professor: And only Japanese ninja can move that fast.
Grad student: OK.
Japanese professor: I am well trained in the art of the ninja.
10900 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Woman: You know I’m afraid of birds, don’t you? It’s because of that movie and the time my mother burned down a gas station.
Cal State Northridge
Northridge, California
Overheard by: Scott
Teacher’s aide: Where did you find the sticky, gooey stuff (Tacky Finger)?
Secretary: In my drawers.
Contour Road
Gaithersburg, Maryland
High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.
High school
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student
Teacher #1: I can’t teach this kid anymore.
Teacher #2: Why?
Teacher #1: He can’t keep his hands out of his pants.
Teacher #2: So?
Teacher #1: Look, do I have to spell it out? He doesn’t know the difference between shit and food.
Teacher #2: Oh my god, I’m gonna barf.
Teacher #1: Not around this kid. He might thinks it’s a snack.
3035 Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: don’t want to eat the food
Distressed eleven-year-old boy: Ms. B., Aaron called my mom gay and she is gay!
School
Poway, California
