Boss: What are you still doing here? I told you to go home early.
Employee: I know. Have you ever seen Shawshank Redemption?
Boss: Yes.
Employee: Remember what happened to the prisoner that finally got his freedom? He ended up hanging himself because he didn’t know what to do with his free time.
440 9th Avenue
New York, NY
Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.
900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Worker: Dude, come look at my cubicle.
Manager: You mean you weren’t working?
Worker: No, I had to decorate.
1700 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: I’m getting restless. I feel like I wanna go running or something.
Co-worker #2: It’s awful cold out there.
Co-worker #1: Well, plus, I’m wearing a suit, huh?
Co-worker #2: Ever see that movie Falling Down?
1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: You’re really getting good at that.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, but I keep thinking the little running chef in
BurgerTime looks disturbingly like Jim Cramer.
Co-worker #3: Can’t you at least pretend you’re working?
250 West 55th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: MadMoney
Co-worker #1: We’re like The A-Team.
Co-worker #2: I get to be BA Baracus since I’m the only black one.
1634 Broadway
New York, NY
Female coworker on phone: For lack of a better word, “pop art,” you know, like that banana picture you have.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Joy
20-something female coworker: Ooooh! Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! For real, ya'll, that's the best book ever written. Well…other than, like, the bible.
Charleston, South Carolina
Psychiatrist to nurse practitioner: There is a special place in Dante's inferno for these insurance companies that require pre-authorizations. And you know what? They'll need a pre-authorization to get in.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: amber
