Arts

Boss: Wow, this [stapler] is heavy.
Co-worker: It’s from a movie.
Boss: What movie?
Co-worker: Office Space.
Boss: Is that a comedy?

1 Railroad Avenue
Cooperstown, New York

Office manager: He kinda looks like a Ninja Turtle.
Receptionist: What?
Office manager: A Ninja Turtle. Don’t you see it?
Receptionist: Ummm…
Office manager: You know, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Receptionist: Oh, that kind of Ninja Turtle… I don’t see it.

2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Designer: I can’t find a photo to represent personal trainers. The only stock images we have are too creepy. Look kind of like an after-school special.
Writer: Like a molesting-kids after-school special? Or the kind about bulimia?
Designer: A cross between those and the ones about steroids.
Creative director: Oh. That sounds OK. Use whatever you guys have.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Cubicle dweller on phone: We're all right, but our piano isn't. It's been through some stuff.

Chicago, Illinois

Boss, showing book owned by Thomas Jefferson: You know, I get turned on by Jefferson.

Richmond, Virginia

Art Director: We had another “captain literal” sighting in a client
meeting today. People are stupid.
Copywriter: Be less creative. It always works for me.

930 S. Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Funeral director: So, you know all the procedures now, right?
Secretary: Yes, I believe so, I just never had to go get the organ out for a service.
Funeral director: Well, you know where it’s at, right?
Secretary: Yeah, so you just go in the back and pull it out and stick it in there, right?

2157 Oak Street
Wyandotte, Michigan

Customer to toddler: Son, you’ve just learned a valuable lesson that you can use in life — the men in your family don’t dance.

6230 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Employee

Locksmith: Yeah, you gotta read “1994.” Orson Welles. Really knows his stuff. Everything he wrote in that book is happening right now. You gotta read it.

Sherman Oaks, California

Overheard by: Ja'mie

Black coworker, showing off book: It was on Oprah's Book Club.
White coworker: Oh, okay.
Black coworker, putting book under shirt: And now I'm hiding it, cos I don't read books. I'm black.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: sure, why not?