Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!
441 East 12th Street
New York, NY
Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!
441 East 12th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Did you hear about that audition?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: You didn’t get that email?
Co-worker #2: No. My email must be broken.
Co-worker #1: What else haven’t you gotten?
Co-worker #2: Well, if my email is broken, how could I possibly know that?
270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.
695 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Carl Limbacher
Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?
800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Woman #1: What are you listening to?
Woman #2: Bing Crosby. Do you even know who that is?
Woman #1: Duh. It’s that guy who said, “Every time a light bulb goes out, an angel dies.”
Woman #2: You idiot, that’s Jimmy Stewart.
315 North Broadway
Tyler, Texas
Male coworker: How’s the book I lent you?
Female coworker: It’s good. I got up to the part where he changes his name, but I was on the bus and a girlfriend started fighting with her boyfriend, so I stopped reading to watch that.
139 Highland Street
Port Chester, New York
Overheard by: soon to be hired
Coworker: Here it is: “Allen Ginsberg was a 60s era poet, most notable for the poem Howl.” Oh. I thought it was about werewolves, or vampires or something…
Long Island, New York
Account manager: You did a fantastic job on these business cards!
Art director: Shut up! Don’t condense me.
Account manager: I’m serious! You’re a curiative genius!
214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Trey Givens
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.
339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Amanda