Old lady to friend: I don't know who Madonna thinks she is writing children's books. She's still a slut.
Washington, Utah
Overheard by: Nick West
Librarian #1: Take a look at these new book donations that just came in.
Librarian #2: Oh, it’s just a bunch of Chick Lick; we don’t want it.
Librarian #1: Don’t you mean Chick Lit?
Librarian #2: I stand by my statement.
501 Maitland Avenue
Maitland, Florida
Overheard by: Kristen
Not-so-smart office girl on phone: They think I read The Enquirer or something. I don't. I read people, I don't read books.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: hallokitty
Female talking to male co-worker: It was like something out of a V.C. Andrews novel. The one where the brother and sister were locked in the attic and were fucking each other.
Congress Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Frank
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
Boss, about author: It's a great book, but the guy is one of those liberal nuts, real left wing. Been part of the anti-Nazi movement for years.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: What Year/Country is This
Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?
Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?
Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.
Lawrence, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1: Hey, what did you last night?
Co-worker #2: I wanted to watch Joey last night but the President was on. Every time I turn on the TV anymore, it’s hurricane this and hurricane that. Makes me wish the hurricane never happened!
Co-worker #1: …I think Joey was on later in the night.
Co-worker #2: Damn it!
500 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.
Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe
Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars.
901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan
