Arts

Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!

441 East 12th Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Did you hear about that audition?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: You didn’t get that email?
Co-worker #2: No. My email must be broken.
Co-worker #1: What else haven’t you gotten?
Co-worker #2: Well, if my email is broken, how could I possibly know that?

270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY

Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.

695 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Carl Limbacher

Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?

800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Woman #1: What are you listening to?
Woman #2: Bing Crosby. Do you even know who that is?
Woman #1: Duh. It’s that guy who said, “Every time a light bulb goes out, an angel dies.”
Woman #2: You idiot, that’s Jimmy Stewart.

315 North Broadway
Tyler, Texas

Male coworker: How’s the book I lent you?
Female coworker: It’s good. I got up to the part where he changes his name, but I was on the bus and a girlfriend started fighting with her boyfriend, so I stopped reading to watch that.

139 Highland Street
Port Chester, New York

Overheard by: soon to be hired

Coworker: Here it is: “Allen Ginsberg was a 60s era poet, most notable for the poem Howl.” Oh. I thought it was about werewolves, or vampires or something…

Long Island, New York

Account manager: You did a fantastic job on these business cards!
Art director: Shut up! Don’t condense me.
Account manager: I’m serious! You’re a curiative genius!

214 West 39th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Trey Givens

Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.

Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Amy

Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: SB

Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.

339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Amanda