Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I’ll be dead by then!

Santa Barbara, California

Secretary: How’d things go with the Sixth Circuit?
Paralegal: Hold on, let me re‐enact it. You be Tuck, I’ll be the judge. Now get me a ballbat and stand still while I beat you with it for thirty minutes straight.
Tuck: Ha…ha…ha.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Tuck’s Boss who he thinks doesn’t know about this site

Weird suit: Hey! There’s a box of dead people back here!

Bourse Building
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.

1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California

Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.

Medical Center Boulevard
Winston‐Salem, North Carolina

Coworker: So she was telling me she had no money to pay her bill because she invested all her money into a llama farm, and then the llamas got slaughtered.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: WD40

CSR on phone: Please sir, stop yelling at me. (pause) You do not need to swear at me. (pause) You call me that one more time and I’m going to hang up. (pause) Yeah, I’m still here. (pause, then hangs up) The best part was he told me to die.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: headsethottie

Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?


Overheard by: Bemused Techie

Office lady #1: Did you hear? My buddy shot and killed someone Monday night.
Office lady #2: Uh, what?
Office lady #1: Yep, my buddy Tex! (scurries over to pick up newspaper to proudly show)
Office lady #2: Wow. That’s a bit strange.
Office lady #1: I know. Now I know someone that killed somebody!

Jacksonville, Florida

Employee #1, on phone: Good morning, sir, my name is Brad*, and I’m from an execution service agency.
Employee #2: Dude. It’s executive search agency!

Den Bosch
the Netherlands

Overheard by: Meme