Death

Staffer: I understand you want to complete a living will.
Patient: That’s right.
Staffer: Do you know what this means?
Patient: Yes, it means I don’t want to be kept alive if I’m in a persistent vegetarian state.

10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Coworker: Sometimes I just go out to the warehouse dock and stand on the edge and think about jumping.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Co-worker: The worst thing you can do is pull over on the side of the road and get into your trunk. It’s a good way to get yourself killed.

1201 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia

Marketing Manager: You know it would be so awful if that hunting guy died, but yet, it would be so awesome if that hunting guy died.

16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Writer: What the heck is going on with you?
Designer: Why?
Writer: Because I messaged you like three times.
Designer: Oh. I didn’t see it.
Writer: Thank god I wasn’t sending you my suicide note.
Designer: You would do that through Yahoo!?
Writer: I don’t know. Maybe. Is it too informal?
Designer: Kind of. I mean like print it out or something. Then somebody could drop it in my box.
Writer: What font would I even use?

16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel

Co-worker #1: Yeah, some guy just fell from the 72nd down onto the 6th floor.
Co-worker #2: Is he dead?

350 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY

Boss: What are you still doing here? I told you to go home early.
Employee: I know. Have you ever seen Shawshank Redemption?
Boss: Yes.
Employee: Remember what happened to the prisoner that finally got his freedom? He ended up hanging himself because he didn’t know what to do with his free time.

440 9th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker: I mean, I love [our product] and all, but I don’t want it to kill people.

5450 Tech Center Drive
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.

900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Teller: So how was your weekend?
Customer: Oh, it was all right…my husband died.

1600 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: indigo