Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.
Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Avoiding the corner
Patient: Stop raping me!
Nurse #1: Did I just hear that?
Nurse #2: She has been yelling it all day.
Randolph Road
Plainfield, New Jersey
Elderly lady patient: My eyebrows are growing back. I look like Drew Barrymore.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it's worth it to go on, if you're just going to end up a horrible vampire.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: so true
Secretary: Are you gonna have a little bambino?
Slightly overweight patient: Uh, no. Just had a few too many cookies.
Secretary: Are you sure? Maybe I know something you don't.
Slightly overweight patient: I am unable to conceive.
Rochester, New York
Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Nurse: I hate you, you're so skinny.
Patient: I have Crohn's disease.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: another patient
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
