Female patient: Oh! You’re getting married next month?
Male patient: Trust me, you’re better off joining the Army and getting sent to Iraq.
Waiting room, East 49th Street
New York, New York
Female patient: Oh! You’re getting married next month?
Male patient: Trust me, you’re better off joining the Army and getting sent to Iraq.
Waiting room, East 49th Street
New York, New York
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Staffer: I understand you want to complete a living will.
Patient: That’s right.
Staffer: Do you know what this means?
Patient: Yes, it means I don’t want to be kept alive if I’m in a persistent vegetarian state.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.
Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Avoiding the corner
Patient: Stop raping me!
Nurse #1: Did I just hear that?
Nurse #2: She has been yelling it all day.
Randolph Road
Plainfield, New Jersey
Elderly lady patient: My eyebrows are growing back. I look like Drew Barrymore.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it's worth it to go on, if you're just going to end up a horrible vampire.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: so true
Secretary: Are you gonna have a little bambino?
Slightly overweight patient: Uh, no. Just had a few too many cookies.
Secretary: Are you sure? Maybe I know something you don't.
Slightly overweight patient: I am unable to conceive.
Rochester, New York
