Announcer on PA system: Dr. Stewart*, please call 5-5-2-0; Dr. Stewart, 5-5-2-0.
Dr. Stewart, over the PA system a few minutes later: Whomever needed Dr. Stewart, I don’t know who you are and I didn’t hear that number, so call me at– [pause]. Oh, shit, I don’t know what number this is. Wait… Okay, so just page me again with that number… [Pause] You mean everyone can hear me? Fuck.
Arizona
Overheard by: Seriously glad I’m not his patient
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Receptionist
Psychiatrist to nurse practitioner: There is a special place in Dante's inferno for these insurance companies that require pre-authorizations. And you know what? They'll need a pre-authorization to get in.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: amber
Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn’t charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Five-year-old girl, reading book about whales: Hey mom, does a baby whale really come out of a mama whale's butt?
Mom: Hmmm…
Hygienist: Oh my god, did anyone else hear that?
Dentist Office
Augusta, Georgia
Nurse to paramedic pushing stretcher and IV pole: Would you like me to guide your pole?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Deena
Surgeon: So, you’re dating a nurse… What kind?
PA #1: Beats the hell out of me… I’m just hoping she’s a head nurse — you know, with dirty knees.
PA #2: Awesome.
Hospital
Western Pennsylvania
