Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.

Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Receptionist

Psychiatrist to nurse practitioner: There is a special place in Dante's inferno for these insurance companies that require pre-authorizations. And you know what? They'll need a pre-authorization to get in.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: amber

Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn’t charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!

2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Five-year-old girl, reading book about whales: Hey mom, does a baby whale really come out of a mama whale's butt?
Mom: Hmmm…
Hygienist: Oh my god, did anyone else hear that?

Dentist Office
Augusta, Georgia

Nurse to paramedic pushing stretcher and IV pole: Would you like me to guide your pole?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Deena

Physical therapist: Where did you get the cake?
Teacher: BJ's.
Physical therapist: Oh! I love BJ's!

Manhattan, New York

Surgeon: So, you’re dating a nurse… What kind?
PA #1: Beats the hell out of me… I’m just hoping she’s a head nurse — you know, with dirty knees.
PA #2: Awesome.

Western Pennsylvania

Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, "How are you today?" I said, "Huh? Oh, I’m fine!" Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M-16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.

Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon

Anesthesiologist to orderly at computer: What's my schedule look like?
Orderly to anesthesiologist: At 3 o'clock you get to knock that woman out.

New York City, New York

Doctor to inmate: So what are they accusing you of this time?
Inmate: Oh, they're not accusing me, I did it.

County Jail Medical Office
Evansville, Indiana

Overheard by: Molly