Doctor, to patient: Well, if you just don’t tell them who you are, you won’t have that problem.
7950 West Mississippi Avenue
Lakewood, Colorado
Overheard by: LAP
Doctor, to patient: Well, if you just don’t tell them who you are, you won’t have that problem.
7950 West Mississippi Avenue
Lakewood, Colorado
Overheard by: LAP
Secretary #1: Is your boyfriend coming for Christmas?
Secretary #2: Yeah! He's in med school in Seattle studying to be an ER doc, so I don't get to see him much.
Female doctor, just coming into room: Them! Don't get me started on ER docs!
Secretary #1: Oh?
Doctor: They can't keep their pants on–and the married ones are worse!
Albany General Hosptial
Albany, Oregon
M.D. #1: Hey, look! They named their kid Babygirl!
M.D. #2: No way, that’s hilarious!
Janitor: Actually, it just means they haven’t named their child yet and that it’s a baby girl.
M.D. #1: Are you a doctor?
M.D. #2: I bet he’s not even a doctor.
Janitor: [walks away]
GroupHealth Cooperative
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: lauren
Client with sick dog: I need to see the veterinarian on duty because my dog isn't feeling well.
Veterinarian receptionist: Is your dog a male or female?
Client with sick dog: She's a male.
Wooster, Ohio
Overheard by: netty
Female patient: I just noticed your ID badge. That’s a great picture of you.
Paramedic: Oh, yeah, thank you. You should see my driver’s license photo. I wore a priest’s outfit for that one.
6500 Excelsior Boulevard
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Overheard by: Rod Backer
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Mental Health Advisor: He’s crazy. He’s gone off his meds because he thinks the doctors are trying to shrink his penis.
240 Calhoun Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!?
Washoe Valley, Nevada
Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
Patient who just failed drug test: I need a note to stay out of work.
Doctor: What do you want me to say? That you're too stoned from taking too many Vicodin to be productive?
Patient: Sure, but would you mind wording it better?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Amazed Nurse
