Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Mental Health Advisor: He’s crazy. He’s gone off his meds because he thinks the doctors are trying to shrink his penis.
240 Calhoun Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!?
Washoe Valley, Nevada
Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
Patient who just failed drug test: I need a note to stay out of work.
Doctor: What do you want me to say? That you're too stoned from taking too many Vicodin to be productive?
Patient: Sure, but would you mind wording it better?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Amazed Nurse
Receptionist #1: Where's Linda today?
Receptionist #2: She's gonna be out for a while, she's having surgery on her thyroid.
Dentist: I didn't even know she had a thyroid.
Bayside, New York
Neurologist: Okay, well, Tim…the bathroom's right around the corner. Why don't you head in there and go as much as you can? Then Carol will come in and take a picture.
Shelbyville, Indiana
Overheard by: Confused at the Neurologist
Clinic pharmacist to nurse practitioners: Can we please not talk about my vagina anymore today?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It’s not THAT kind of clinic!
Doctor: The homeless people know what they are doing wearing more than one coat…
Hospital
Little Rock, Arkansas
Speech pathologist: You have the lady in room 10, right?
Behavior medicine nurse: Oh, yeah! She's crazy, ain't she?
Burlington, North Carolina
