Neurologist: Okay, well, Tim…the bathroom's right around the corner. Why don't you head in there and go as much as you can? Then Carol will come in and take a picture.
Shelbyville, Indiana
Overheard by: Confused at the Neurologist
Neurologist: Okay, well, Tim…the bathroom's right around the corner. Why don't you head in there and go as much as you can? Then Carol will come in and take a picture.
Shelbyville, Indiana
Overheard by: Confused at the Neurologist
Clinic pharmacist to nurse practitioners: Can we please not talk about my vagina anymore today?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It’s not THAT kind of clinic!
Doctor: The homeless people know what they are doing wearing more than one coat…
Hospital
Little Rock, Arkansas
Speech pathologist: You have the lady in room 10, right?
Behavior medicine nurse: Oh, yeah! She's crazy, ain't she?
Burlington, North Carolina
Doctor: So, you aren't eating or drinking water during the day for a whole month?
Muslim med student: Yep, but it's not so bad, it gives us time to reflect and pray.
Doctor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ramadan. Now let's figure out our schedule for the day. Have you eaten lunch yet?
Medical Center
Richmond, Virginia
Female clerk: My nipples itch… Someone must be thinking about me.
Male doctor: What?!?
Female clerk: Isn’t that what they say? When your nipples itch someone is thinking about you?
Male doctor: Nooooooo…
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Who-la-hey
Dentist to young female patient: I'm sorry, I ripped my glove.
Young female patient: Good thing it wasn't a condom!
Connecticut
Doctor: Women come into my office at least once a month and completely lose it — blubbering all over the place. I had one in here today.
Wife: Are they married?
Chandler, Arizona
Overheard by: Office Manager
Doctor: Okay, so what are you having done today? Varicose veins?
Woman waiting for surgery: What? No. I'm having a port put in.
Nurse: A port? Well, you don't need a port for varicose veins.
Woman waiting for surgery: I know it's for my chemo.
Nurse: Oh, I get it now. I thought your form said “Cheerios.”
Australia
Nurse to doctor: I mean, you've got to have something to live for.
Doctor to nurse: Yeah, you at least gotta be able to fuck somebody or piss somebody off.
Nurse to doctor: And from what I hear, you're great at both!
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: SWARD
