Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
Physics teacher: How thick do you think a steel pole would have to be that connected the Earth and the moon if there were no more gravity?
Student #1: 10 inches?
Student #2: Five miles?
Student #3: No, way bigger than that.
Physics teacher: It would be about the size of the state of New York.
Student #1: Damn.
Student #2: Ha! I was right!
Student #3: You think that New York is five miles across?!
Student #2: Okay, that’s more like Delaware-sized. Is Delaware even a state?
Staples High School
Westport, Connecticut
Suit: We need to start putting our meat in someone else’s box.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Principal over loudspeaker: We’re looking for someone to give us wood.
4 Robert Holcomb Way
Plainville, Connecticut
Overheard by: for a good cause
Guy to coworker sitting on exercise ball at computer: Well, I’ll just let you get on with your ball massage.
39 Norwich-Westerly Road
Mashantucket, Connecticut
Overheard by: Calamity Canyon
Female coworker: I pulled my butt muscle taking a whiz!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Coworker: Let’s go for a ride. Does your top come off?
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: smooth
Guy: I was at this one place last night where I paid an extra $10 to get a tossed salad at 3am. What a great deli.
Wilton, Connecticut
Overheard by: Derek Paruolo
Engineer: Where do I put this cooler?
Scientist #1: You know what that cooler is?
Engineer: Um, no.
Scientist #1: That’s my old date cooler.
Scientist #2: Huh?
Scientist #1: ‘Cause it’s tall enough for a bottle of wine.
Scientist #2: I had a cooler too, for organs.
Engineer: This one’s tall enough for a whole lung!
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
Boss: Does anyone have any questions?
Employee asks involved question.
Boss: You know what? I have a million questions that you cannot answer.
Employee: But you asked if anyone had any questions.
Boss: Yeah, and if I asked if anyone had to go to the bathroom, I wouldn’t expect you to whip it out and take a whiz right here.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Spacing Out
