Guy #1: If you lost my knife, so help me god you owe me $14.99. Plus shipping and handling.
Guy #2: Okay, so…we’ll just deduct that from the eighty bucks you already owe me?
Guy #1: Statute of limitations. That bet was, like, five months ago.
Guy #2: Yeah, and we agreed that you’d owe me interest if you didn’t pay me…
Guy #1 (incredulous): Interest? Was I *drunk*?
Guy #2: Well, it was at 8 am on a Tuesday. So you never know.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Dave Eugene
Co‐worker #1: Hey, [Eric]. I know what I’ll get you for Christmas.
[Eric]: Oh yeah? What?
Co‐worker #1: Some wifebeaters to wear with white shirts so I don’t have to see your boobs through the shirt anymore.
Co‐worker #2: All right…I’ve heard enough about [Eric]‘s manboobs.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Boss to newbie: Yay! So, tomorrow’s Casual Friday, so you don’t have to wear a tie. I usually wear shorts. You know, you can get away with a lot of casual clothing, but a certain dress code does still apply. You’ve got to wear a shirt… Although, so far no one has tried a wife beater. Hey, that’d be a way for you to make a name for yourself!
Glastonbury Boulevard
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.
301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut
Bored tech guy: Can I help you?
Bimbette: Yeah, um, I need an update on my anti‐Semitic virus program.
Bored tech guy: You mean ‘Symantec’?
Bimbette: Yeah, that’s what I said — anti‐Semitic.
Quinnipiac University
Hamden, Connecticut
Worker #1: Hi, Sally*, my ID has expired. How can I get it renewed?
Worker #2: I suppose the other people on our team will also be expiring soon, too. Do we need to address them now, or should we wait ’til they actually expire also?
55 East Hartland Street
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Linda BoBinda
Male coworker to another: I’d love to see pictures of you as a child. Or, better yet, video.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Derek
Nurse: How much do you weigh these days?
Patient: A hundred twenty‐one pounds.
Nurse: And the scale you are using is accurate?
Doctor’s office
Connecticut
Guy in elevator: So I had to go buy new shoelaces over lunch.
Girl in elevator: It’s about time. You’ve been lacing them too tight for weeks. Makes me crazy.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: what
Cube girl: It was like Donald Trump in Hammer pants.
Stratford, Connecticut
