Old guy, about computer monitor: What do you all stare at on these things?
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Old guy, about computer monitor: What do you all stare at on these things?
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy descending escalator: Every time I pull down my pants I look down and it’s like, ‘Oh! I forgot it was there.’
Pier 70
Seattle, Washington
Pledge drive volunteer: Would you like to pledge to fight hunger and homelessness?
College guy: No thanks, man.
Pledge drive volunteer: How about pledging to make higher education more affordable?
College guy: Dude, homeless people don’t even go to college…
470 West 7th Street
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: pledging
Cop: What’s your name?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Derrick Johnson*.
Cop: Where do you live?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
5200 W Madison Street
Chicago, Illinois
80-something husband: Did you get the Viagra?
80-something wife: [Mutters something inaudible.]80-something husband: Well, did you get the prescription for the Viagra?
80-something lady sitting nearby: He’s aimin’ for tonight!
2323 Edinboro Road
Erie, Pennsylvania
Man: Why are you allowing a day spa? I didn’t think you allowed day spas in this town. When you have day spas you attract people who get facials, and we don’t want those kinds of people in this town!
Redlands City Hall
Redlands, California
Customer, running: What aisle are your condoms in?
Cashier: Oh, um… aisle seven.
Customer: Thanks! Quick, quick, I’ve got the girl in the cab!
20-something guy behind him: Oooh, picked up a girl in the bar, eh? What’s her name?
Customer: Don’t know — all I know is my wife is in Seattle.
Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Other Cashier
Female customer #1: They have lotion in the women’s bathroom that is phenomenal.
Female customer #2: There was a line for the women’s room, so the owner let me use the men’s room when nobody was in it. They didn’t have any lotion in there.
Man: There’s probably a good reason for that.
3520 Erie Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Please tell me you washed your hands
Woman to suit looking at a travel magazine: I’ve been there.
Suit: Oh, yeah? Where is that?
Woman: I don’t know.
Reagan National Airport
Arlington, Virginia
Grandma to stranger: Meth is way worse than heroin.
Granddaughter: What?
Grandma: Oh. Ummm, nothing, honey… Nevermind. Aren’t we here to gamble and drink?
Caesars, Indiana
Overheard by: Fatty
