As All Brooklyn Welfare Mothers Know, Nails Are More Important than Parenting

Ghetto woman: I’m only here because I got a gift certificate. I hate Manhattan. I never come here. I can’t stand it. Everyone is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would never be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these people.
Nail technician: Where do you work?
Ghetto woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the county.
Nail technician: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghetto woman: Brooklyn. Tommy! Sit still in that chair for godsakes!!

14th St & 6th Ave
New York City

Overheard by: seriously?

Posted on November 12, 2017
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, New York, Parents, Strangers

5PM That’s a Wrap

Voice on elevator emergency intercom: Hello? Hello?
Confused woman who just got on: Um…..yes?
Voice: Yes, I’m Karen* from American Express. Can I please speak with Shin Chen*?
Woman: Um…No… You just reached an elevator.
Voice: Oh! Well, thank you for using American Express. If you have any questions, please call 1-800-555-1234*. Thanks for using American Express and have a great day!

541 Willamette Street
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: the other passenger

Posted on October 4, 2017
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Oregon, Strangers

…Bitch

Large lady, pressing wrong button in elevator: Oh, I thought I was going to the gym!
Small lady: You really need to go to the gym.
Large lady: I know.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on June 23, 2017
California, Comebacks, Physical Appearance, Sports, Strangers

It’s an L.A. County Law

Bicycle Girl: Take the 101 to the 405, and then you’ll hit Santa Monica. There are great bike trails there.
Bicycle Boy: Great. I was having trouble finding good bike trails around here.
Bicycle Girl: Yeah, there are no good trails in the Valley. You have to go by the beach or mountains. No one rides their bike in the Valley unless they’re Mexican and on their way to work.

North Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on February 22, 2016
California, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Places, Sports, Strangers

And While We’re on the Topic, How Come You Never Call Me at Night?

Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin.

Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: brian

Posted on October 30, 2015
Death, Gripes, On the phone, Oregon, Sensory Experiences, Strangers

Psh, Like You Don't Do That Four Times a Day

Building guest: I'm supposed to be upstairs on the 23rd floor for Cox.
Building security: Whoa there!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on September 17, 2015
Body Parts, Cops, New York, Sexuality, Strangers, Weirdness

He Learned This the Hard Way

Tenant: You know, it has been so nice outside, I wish we had windows that would open.
Building manager: Yeah, me too, but if we did, everyone would be jumping out of them to kill themselves.

270 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: JB

Posted on August 8, 2015
Bosses, Comebacks, Death, New York, Strangers, Wishes

Actually These Are Just Designer Cell Phones

Body builder in gray wind pants, pink tank top and new Reeboks: So, do you lift weights?
Girl lifting weights: Sometimes.

Evanston Athletic Club
Evanston, Illinois

Posted on August 7, 2015
Illinois, Questions, Sports, Strangers

9AM Just One More Day

Guy: At least it’s Friday, right?
DMV Girl: I hate you.

300 W. 34th Street
New York, NY

Posted on May 31, 2015
Feelings, General Idiocy, Insults, New York, Strangers, Time Management

A Jewish Vampire, Apparently

CSR: Is Mike there?
Man: Do you know what day it is?
CSR: What does that have to do with anything?
Man: Well it’s Sunday!
CSR: I know that! Can I talk to Mike?
Man: No it’s Sunday and he isn’t alive on Sunday because he’s a vampire!

375 Ghent Road
Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: No Longer Employed

Posted on May 29, 2015
Customer Service, Death, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Strangers, Time Management

Strangers