Australia

US sales manager in teleconference: We gotta let the elephant be the hot dog right outta the shoe.

5 Thomas Holt Drive
Sydney
Australia

Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.

187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia

Cube rat #1 in response to a mime: Thank you, Marcel Marceau… Hey, is he dead?
Cube rat #2: I hadn’t heard anything.

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Silent Observer

Guy: What are you going to do in Melbourne?
Girl: One of the days I’m there I’m going to go from bar to bar — you know, just explore myself.

Mounts Bay Road
Perth
Australia

Customer: Do you sell cheeseburgers?

Jewelry store
Sydney
Australia

Yuppie girl: I found a turtle over the weekend. I put it in my backyard.
Flakey girl: What did you call it?
Yuppie girl: Myrtle.
Flakey girl: Is it fertile?
Yuppie girl: Is it what?
Flakey girl: Is it fer-tile? I was rhyming…
Yuppie girl: No, it’s a turtle.
Flakey girl: Myrtle, the fertile turtle.
Yuppie girl: You’re like Phoebe of Friends.
Flakey girl: You’re like Ross.

St. Kilda Road
Melbourne
Australia

Old lady coworker: Toys? Yeah, I still play with toys. I have heaps of toys.
Old guy coworker: Yes, I love toys, too. Toys, toys, toys. Toys without the boys.
Old lady coworker: What?
Old guy coworker: What? What are you talking about?

Bourke Street
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Jay Blue

Cashier #1 to customer: Have a good Easter.
Cashier #2: And have a Merry Christmas.
Cashier #1: Oh, shit.

Woolworth’s
Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Lydia the Great

Bimbo: I’m probably the most dyslexic you can get without actually being dyslexic.

Sydney, New South Wales
Australia

Overheard by: non-dyslexic

German teacher: Well, we’re going to have to relocate to another classroom for a while. It seems there’s a rat problem in this one.
Student: Are you going to gas them?

Glenunga International High School
Adelaide, South Australia