Coworker #1: The film was so violent… I don’t really like realistic-looking violence.
Coworker #2: Yeah, neither do I. Although, I did get some perverse enjoyment from watching The Passion of the Christ.
Coworker #1: But in this one it’s all the nice people getting hurt.
500 Harris Street
Ultimo, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Dan
Guy: … And there’s no way I’ll fellate myself.
Crowded elevator, 201 Sussex Street
Sydney, Australia
Girl #1, walking past: There was a ruckus in the office but we sorted it out.
Girl #2: It’s funny, whenever I think of the word ruckus I think of, like, chickens.
Girl #3: Oh my god, there were chickens in the office?
University Drive
Gold Coast, Australia
Overheard by: Jess
Boss: So, I have a problem with giving you the job, even though I know you can do it.
Worker: What’s the issue?
Boss: You seem to be annoyed with us, and you’re not upbeat enough after what happened.
Worker: What happened is that I lived the values, delivered on everything, then the organization totally screwed me over, gave my job to someone else, and left me to languish for a year with no certainty about my future. Now you’re saying you can’t give me another job because you’ve been such dickheads?
Boss: I know it sounds bad.
388 George Street
Sydney, Australia
Male employee #1: How did Costa Rica go in the World Cup?
Male employee #2: Who does he play for?
Male employee #1: Are you serious?
Male employee #2: What? Is he on the Australian team or something? Is that why I’m meant to know him?
Perth, Western Australia
Overheard by: you’ve got to be kidding me!
Builder #1: Do we have a hole puncher?
Builder #2: Yeah, it’s over there near Diane’s* fat arse.
Builder #1: You can’t say that! That’s sexual harrassment! Diane, don’t worry, love. You’ve got a great arse.
Construction Site Office
Townsville, Australia
Overheard by: Naomi
Employee on phone: Wait, let me read you the email he sent out this morning: “Just a reminder that today, like every Friday, is acquittals day. So acquit, acquit, acquit away, and keep the frightening audits at bay.” Yep, poetry…See? This is why I’m leaving.
Elizabeth Street
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Tigertail
Coworker: You can totally tell who’s in the next toilet cubicle by the sound of the shit when it hits the water.
Harbour Esplanade
Melbourne, Australia
Boss talking to client and client’s son in front office: So this is your youngest boy, isn’t it? I’ve met him before.
Client: Uh… I don’t think you have.
Boss: Yeah, I’m sure I have…. He’s Down’s Syndrome, isn’t he?
Client: No
98 Fitzroy Street
Grafton, Australia
Overheard by: gus shanks
Program manager: I think we should adopt the behaviours from the charter for meetings of the [Partnerships] section. [Steven], why don’t you read them out?
[Steven]: Respect other’s opinions and feelings, stay focused, turn off mobile phones, question self before others, participate enthusiastically and share experience and knowledge, have some fun….
Employee: Anyone telling me to have some fun at meetings better think again.
Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Ness
