Australia

Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.

Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: get back to work!

Charity worker: His name was Brandon*, and he was about six and he has Down Syndrome and eye cancer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But sometimes it plops out. He also needs a major hip replacement, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Bora

Receptionist, yelling: I want to show everyone my box!

Melbourne
Australia

Sales manager: Oh, no… I’m not laughing at orphans, I’m laughing at old demented people.

Eagle Street, Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Clerk Peon

Coworker: It's like looking at livestock. Bull walks by? Oh, it's a bull. Cow walks by? Oh, it's a cow. Lady Gaga walks by? Oh, it's Lady Gaga without her pants again!

Australia

Male staff member: Yeah, but knowing my luck, it'll happen again when I'm not here!
Female staff member: It's okay. You're married now. You'll get lucky one day!

Blockbuster
Australia

Boss: What are you going to do on your lunch break?
Assistant: I think I might go outside and spread my legs.
Boss: Pardon?
Assistant: I said I think I might go outside and stretch my legs. (walks off very quickly)

North Ryde
Australia

Overheard by: Sinead

Female employee, after answering question: Sorry I couldn't give you a more stimulating answer.
Male boss: That's okay, I'm stimulating myself enough anyway.
(awkward silence)

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: walkingawaygiggling

Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!

Sydney
Australia

Confused male call center worker: What are you doing?
Female coworker, shaking dress after hours of cutting off split ends: I've got hair on my thing and it's itchy.

Adelaide
Australia