Coworker: It was so good I licked my box!


Overheard by: confused but amused

Woman on phone: He gave me a book of his own poetry that he’d had published and everything! But he’s not a total fairy, though… He used to be an engineer.


Overheard by: every3rdthought

Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you're doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I've got a degree in screwing!


Overheard by: Steph

Security Guard #1: Man, but 8 times! That’s gotta hurt.
Security Guard #2: Can’t be much difference to taking 7 slugs.

Wharf 8, Murray Street
Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: spleenboy

Teacher #1, to teacher #2: I like my vagina the way it is, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Aberfoyle Park High School, Taylors Road East
Aberfoyle Park, South Australia

Overheard by: Megan

Programmer: Oh, thank god! My replacement iPhone. Not having it is like having my arm cut off. (looking at courier, he notices he has a stub instead of his right arm. Embarrassed, he signs for it and tries to hand stylus back to courier's stub. The courier leaves without saying anything)
Programmer: I want to go home now.


Overheard by: Chris

Coworker #1: You’ve got really pretty eyes.
Coworker #2: Thanks.
Coworker #1: It’s like you’ve got, um… What is it…?
Coworker #3: Downs Syndrome?
Coworker #1: Contact lenses.

South Australia

Man, shouting at secretary: No! You will take this to the bank, then you’ll pick up my coffee, then you can go in to recovery!

Victoria Parade, East Melbourne

Overheard by: Kate

Medical scientist #1: You know, they’ve got sheep in the basement…
Medical scientist #2: Our basement?!
Medical scientist #1: Yeah. It’s for heart surgery experiments. They bring them up for MRIs at night.
Medical scientist #2: There are sheep using our MRI machines?!
Medical scientist #1: Well, they’re only small ones…

Hospital, Flemington Road
Parkville, Victoria

Young female worker: Oh! Just the lady I wanted to see!
Mature female worker: Hang on! I have to do something and then I’ll be in my usual cupboard if you want to see me!

Freshwater Place, Southbank

Overheard by: Nose E Parker