Suit: We don’t need to do that right away, we can do it tomorrow.
Boss: We should do it today. Why put off until tomorrow what we can do today?
Suit: I was thinking about killing you yesterday.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Project Manager: We didn’t know the old system generated those reports.
CIO: Well, you can’t clean out an old warehouse without finding a few rat turds in the corner.
655 Engineering Drive
Norcross, Georgia
Co-worker #1: I hate not having a stapler.
Co-worker #2: But you have a stapler. It’s right there.
Co-worker #1: But I don’t have a stapler.
Co-worker #2: Are you Zen or something?
Co-worker #1: What do you mean?
Co-worker #2: It’s very Zen to have/not have a stapler.
551 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ReRo
Boss: There are many people who are much more like me than I am.
2560 9th Street
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: anonymous coward
Office lady, slurring speech while talking to herself: I'm not drunk; I'm just realistic.
Elmsford, New York
Coworker: I don't have the voice for rap… But shit, man, I can write rhymes!
Chico, California
Project manager: I mean, it’s really not even a bender unless it’s affecting your performance at work, now is it?
1620 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
VP to general counsel: A nine-inch wiener is a nine-inch wiener. You’ve got to make it look pretty.
850 Bryant Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: IC Balaam
Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on.
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
