Boss: When, in the course of your life, you are traveling to the right you will find that you must take the toll road and pay your dues. There is no free road to the right.
Employee: Uh… Can I have my doughnut now?
Bountiful, Utah
Overheard by: tkt
Boss: When, in the course of your life, you are traveling to the right you will find that you must take the toll road and pay your dues. There is no free road to the right.
Employee: Uh… Can I have my doughnut now?
Bountiful, Utah
Overheard by: tkt
Board member: There has got to be a way out of this place.
175 S. 3d St
Columbus, Ohio
Branch manager: Wiggy wiggy wiggy wuzza wuzza wiggy. Wiggy!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
CIO: You developers have to tell the BAs if you’re going to miss a deadline, or they’ll be in the dark. Then they can’t tell the managers, and they’ll be in the dark. Pretty soon we have this big snowball of darkness.
625 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Employee #1: Dave*, you’re what, 27? You’re too young to get married. You need to wait until you’re 35 and then marry a 23 year old. Birthing is just “bam! bam! bam!”– brutal on them. So you need to marry young.
Employee #2: So I need to work here for 8 years and marry a girl who is just graduating from here?
Employee #3: Start looking, man. She’s in high school now.
Employee #2: She’d be what, 15? Hey, Jim*, how old are your daughters?
Employee #1: 13 and 15…Shut up!
3800 Victory Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
Five maintenance engineers stand staring at a window with rain pouring down on the inside of the glass.
Engineer: If we all knew about this, why didn’t we fix it?
6th and Sycamore
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alice
Female employee: Man, I’m soo busy today. Why is everyone taking advantage of me?
Male employee: I dunno.
Female employee: Oh well, maybe I just let people take advantage of me. It’s just easier that way.
Male employee: Some advice: don’t ever say that in a bar.
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Chicago, Illinois
Database administrator #1: You can either spend half a day showing them how to do it and another three weeks constantly answering questions, or you can just take half an hour and write the code for them.
Database administrator #2: Well, we should teach them how to fish instead of just feeding them every day!
Database administrator #1: You can teach them how to fish, but they still won’t know how to write code.
880 Carillon Parkway
St. Petersburg, Florida
Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.
1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rogue Peanut
Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.
121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ
Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz
