Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.


Overheard by: ReRo

Boss: There are many people who are much more like me than I am.

2560 9th Street
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: anonymous coward

Office lady, slurring speech while talking to herself: I’m not drunk; I’m just realistic.

Elmsford, New York

Coworker: I don’t have the voice for rap… But shit, man, I can write rhymes!

Chico, California

Project manager: I mean, it’s really not even a bender unless it’s affecting your performance at work, now is it?

1620 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

VP to general counsel: A nine‐inch wiener is a nine‐inch wiener. You’ve got to make it look pretty.

850 Bryant Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: IC Balaam

Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on. 

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Art Director: It’s hard to be objective when you only see the universe from your point of view.

250 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California

Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.

1372 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: ILmatic

New hire: Can’t we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.

Washington, DC