Two real estate agents are returning from lunch.
Experienced agent: You’re never going to make any money if you keep getting drunk like this.
73 West 19th Street
New York, New York
Two real estate agents are returning from lunch.
Experienced agent: You’re never going to make any money if you keep getting drunk like this.
73 West 19th Street
New York, New York
Admin #1: Without extremes, normalcy wouldn’t exist.
Admin #2: Wow, we’re getting heavy now.
Admin #3: Back from tour one day, and you’re already waxing poetic?
Admin #1: Wait, isn’t that what fractals and Jurassic Park are about?
Admin #2 & 3: What?
Admin #1: Extremes, fractals and Jurassic Park. Wasn’t anyone a nerd like me?
Admin #2: Um, no.
3 Lafayette Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
CSR to manager: Sometimes there is a fine line between making people happy and getting them to shut up.
1300 Arlington
Itasca, Illinois
Attorney #1: I stepped on a baby bird this morning on the way into the courthouse.
Attorney #2: The jokes are right. We don’t have souls.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Worker on phone: I don’t care if you threw up or not, I’m not canceling that dentist appointment…Well, take some Tums and go anyway. If you have to throw up again, throw up on them; who cares?
321 Norristown Road
Ambler, Pennsylvania
Attorney: We’re smarter for making the correct decision to the everyday question: drink or work? Correct answer: drink and work.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Suit: We don’t need to do that right away, we can do it tomorrow.
Boss: We should do it today. Why put off until tomorrow what we can do today?
Suit: I was thinking about killing you yesterday.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Project Manager: We didn’t know the old system generated those reports.
CIO: Well, you can’t clean out an old warehouse without finding a few rat turds in the corner.
655 Engineering Drive
Norcross, Georgia
Co-worker #1: I hate not having a stapler.
Co-worker #2: But you have a stapler. It’s right there.
Co-worker #1: But I don’t have a stapler.
Co-worker #2: Are you Zen or something?
Co-worker #1: What do you mean?
Co-worker #2: It’s very Zen to have/not have a stapler.
551 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ReRo
