Kentucky

Secretary: How’d things go with the Sixth Circuit?
Paralegal: Hold on, let me re-enact it. You be Tuck, I’ll be the judge. Now get me a ballbat and stand still while I beat you with it for thirty minutes straight.
Tuck: Ha…ha…ha.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Tuck’s Boss who he thinks doesn’t know about this site

Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.

571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.

1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter

Supervisor: Okay, let me give you some advice. I’ve seen a lot of Lifetime movies, and–
Employee: You know, I think I gotta ask someone else about this. Thanks, though!

107 Jackson Street
Berea, Kentucky

Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven’t shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I’m hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Woman on phone: I was supposed to make the business card English on one side and Japanese on the other, and I put Chinese…and I apologize for it, it was dishonest of me…I didn’t think anyone would notice…but I’m a Christian person and I don’t want to die and go to hell, I’d rather apologize and make it right and go to heaven…I know it’s a little thing but I’m a Christian…

2301 South Third Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Peon #1: Where’s Kevin* today?
Peon #2: What is it, Thursday? Guess it depends on whether he’s black or gay today.

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Blonde: Oh, you can’t make the appointment tomorrow?
Older lady: No, I have a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
Blonde: Oh, wow! What play are you in?
Older lady: No, a rehearsal dinner is for a wedding.
Blonde: Oh! … Why do you have to rehearse dinner?

Westport Road
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Glad I’m not blonde

Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench

Worker, rushing into boss's office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It's hand sanitizer for kids and it's called “cooter killer.”
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966